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How Often Should Women Orgasm

Do Tell: How Often Do You Expect to Orgasm?

A poster on Group Therapy says sexism lives on in the bedroom, calling it a double standard for men to expect to orgasm every time while assuming women won't. She manages to have an orgasm each time on her own, but her boyfriend gets tired and gives up when it's his turn to please her.

Is every time a lot to ask, or should it be the norm? How often do you expect to orgasm?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Source: Flickr User ***j9***

Join The Conversation
mmclaire mmclaire 7 years
Hi...I'm new here. I'm working a crazy work schedule right now, noon to midnight and have been reading the postings for the past couple of nights. I thought this one was pretty interesting. I don't know that I "expect" to orgasm everytime I have sex but I generally do, multiple times. If I were with someone that didn't have any interest in my pleasure, though, there would definitely be a problem. That is just selfish as far as I'm concerned. I know that sometimes it just isn't going to happen but to not even try would be a huge turn off for me.
danakscully64 danakscully64 7 years
Glowingmoon: "I guess I'm lucky -- every time. I get multiple orgasms." *shoots you evil, jealous look* :p
Glamgirl1 Glamgirl1 7 years
spacekatgal....get on that multitasks..like a rabbit ..and one that has a nice texture dont forget a 40pk of batteries..lol:)
Glamgirl1 Glamgirl1 7 years
this is the rule: if u dont make me have an orgasm first...ur not getting any....and if u cant figure it out.... i have ur "replacement" in the drawer with fresh batteries!
bluestar bluestar 7 years
I expect it all the time! It would drive me crazy if I didn't. Sometimes you gotta help the guy out and do it yourself. :)
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
Don't hint, they don't get it - be direct!
BrittneyMcG BrittneyMcG 7 years
My boyfriend always, and I mean always, puts my orgasm first. This is because he knows that I can have multiple orgasms in a night and so he makes sure that I get mine first and then we get his second. The best way for me to orgasm is by oral sex. He finds pleasure in pleasuring me and will usually bring me to orgasm many times before we have intercourse. I think I may be exceptionally lucky, but it is not a lot to ask from your boo to please you first. I never had to ask, it is just the loving man he is, but maybe your man doesn't know how you feel. He isn't a mind reader. Here is a hint: tell him pleasing you down there will make you wetter and he will better enjoy sex if he stimulates you first. If you a woman that can have multiple orgasms, it will be easy for both of you to climax in one night. Good luck, sugars!
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
I climax around 97% of the time in partner sex, usually from oral. On occasion I will also use a vibey with a lover if they are comfortable with it. When it doesn't work it is usually because i can't switch off from work or other things. I also need my own "me time" and when playing solo I hit the spot almost every time. With regard to Spacekatgal finding vibeys not working, I suggest if she hasn't dome so she tries a different make/brand. Some just don't do it and sadly, there's no satisfaction guarantee. Look for a quiet one too, I find noisy ones to be akin to having a cement mixer in the bedroom and can throw you off the stroke. For lovers to assist our orgasm in every way possible is our right (and of course the same applies visa versa too!).
suziryder suziryder 7 years
GlowingMoon, me too!! Every time, multiple times. Hee hee!
xxstardust xxstardust 7 years
I can think of only a handful of times - less than what I can count on one hand - that I haven't had an orgasm during sex, and that's counting the night I lost my virginity. I think I'm the oddball, though, because I've always been able to finish via penetration. And again, since we're all oversharing on this thread .... am I the only one who *doesn't* masturbate? I just don't enjoy it at all ...
cutie2 cutie2 7 years
i do every time as well. it would drive me crazy if I had sex and didn't have one as I think its quite an uncomfortable feeling....
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
I must be lucky, I orgasm nearly every time. Maybe 2-3 times have I not orgasmed. No wonder so many women aren't having sex as often as their partners would like!
Ac2366 Ac2366 7 years
I don't expect to have an orgasm everytime but I almost always do. The times I don't are the times where my mind is elsewhere and I'm distracted. It's not by any fault of my bf. I've never had to give the guy a single instruction. He has always touched me in just the right spot and he is the only guy to get me there with penetration alone. Yeah, I'm holding onto him. I agree that a guy who isn't interested in pleasing you sexually is not going to be interested in pleasing you in other ways. I personally couldn't stay with a man that wasn't a giver and had no interest in my desires. Sexual compatibility is very important.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
I expect 7 out o 10 times. Honestly, we're busy parents; so, we know that one of us will have an off night.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
I expect to every time with my bf. But if he doesn't make me, I do it on my own. Usually he does though.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
It bothers my boyfriend too, TidalWave, even when I've told him I'm fine with not reaching an orgasm every time. Sometimes I'm just not in the right state of mind, or I just want to be able to give without receiving... It's not usually a problem though anyway. I don't think the orgasm is the be all and end all of sex, but I think good communication is the key to getting the most out of your love life. You're missing something without it. If you can get yourself off, there's not reason your boyfriend shouldn't be able to, too, unless he really doesn't care to.
TidalWave TidalWave 7 years
definitely every time. it really bothers my bf if i don't.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I guess I'm lucky -- every time. I get multiple orgasms.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
I don't every time. I'm more about the journey not the destination. My partner use to think something was wrong after he did and I didn't but what I had to get him to accept is that's okay with me I still had a great time.
MeiGaku MeiGaku 7 years
i definitely don't expect to orgasm every time because i'm not always in the mood to do so--sometimes it's so intense i feel too exhausted afterwards. with your boyfriend, he should be very attentive and try to give you an o at least... cause every woman deserves to be taken care of! if you've never had an o, then you have to figure it out first... because if you can't do it yourself, he has no chance of figuring it out. i had sex for four years before i had my first o and it kind of came out of the blue. then i just replicated the awesomeness. so why don't you get comfy with your hand and take some time alone. =)
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