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How Soon Is Too Soon to Text a Guy After Meeting Him?

"How Soon Is Too Soon to Text a Guy After Meeting Him?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Guys like the one I met this weekend don't come around too often — I'm shy, so the odds of striking up a romance with a guy are slim to none. That, plus all my dating endeavors in college have been moot. So I met a guy on Saturday and we got to talking, and all of a sudden I realized that we'd been talking for hours on end — online, not in person. We talked into the wee hours of the morning about everything. It was so fulfilling and exciting to talk to him because he was intelligent and brought a lot to the conversation. After our lengthy chat, we exchanged numbers. He seemed very excited about it and so was I. During the conversation, he kept saying how awesome it was to talk to me, and how foolish he'd be if he didn't ask me to hang out later. In other words, God has finally sent me someone promising, but now I don't know what to do.

That was a few days ago and I'm getting really antsy about how and when I should contact him — or if he should be the one to do it. In the past, I've lost out on men because I tend to be a closed book. I played trivial courting games (like the He Has To Text You First game and Reply To His Texts Only After Hours Have Passed game), so I gave off the impression that I wasn't interested when I actually was. Still, I know that making yourself too available and striking up conversations all the time can read as desperate. How do I find the middle ground? I really like this guy and don't want to mess things up. I'm itching to talk to him again, but I fear I'll drive him away somehow.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
Agreed with steph1234. Playing games is a waste of time and only shows you're more interested in how you come off than actually connecting with someone. It's a text message, not a proposal. Reach out, he may be sitting around having the same inner conflict you are. Won't know till you try.
steph1234 steph1234 5 years
Honestly, I think the whole time table is stupid. If you want to text him, then just do it. Do what feels comfortable and natural to you. You can't help how he perceives things (too soon, desparate, etc.)...and if you guys clicked so well, as you say you did, then the amount of time lapsed when you text him shouldn't be an issue...he should just be happy to hear from you. I think all these dating rules that people come up with put added stress and pressure to people in the dating world. Forget the rules and go by what you think is right in this situation.
Lilyangel Lilyangel 5 years
The guy can also be shy to text or call. We can't make the conclusions already as he asked your phone number, and it means, he is probably interested.
Riannaxxxooo Riannaxxxooo 5 years
I have always believed to never text them. Seems to work. If he hasn't text you, "he's just not that into you." Sorry to use that quote, but it is just so true. Be greatful, it's a good way to gage his interest.
Lilyangel Lilyangel 5 years
Lilyangel Lilyangel 5 years
I think, instead of saying something usual, just call him be easy going and confident and say something flirty-funny. Like noone would do, so he would remember you forever and want to meet you for sure!
henna-red henna-red 5 years
I completely agree with missmaryb. :)
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I think that if you like a guy, show it. Let him know. I've read all those things too and to me they're just games. I tried some of it and it never got me anywhere. Just send him a casual text saying hi and telling him how much you enjoyed your conversation. Then the ball is in his court and you've come across as interested but not desperate. Good luck.
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