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Hump Day: What to Do When He's Not Well Endowed

Hump Day: What to Do When He's Not Well Endowed

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!
Today's question:
What are some good techniques to use with a partner who has a relatively small penis?

To see Dr. Glickman's answer,


There are a few different things you could try to make intercourse better. The first thing is to have lots of buildup for both of you. The more excited he is, the harder his erection will be. That can maximize the sensations for you since the vagina tends to be most sensitive near the opening. And the closer you are to orgasm before intercourse, the easier it might be to have an orgasm once he’s inside you.

Some positions may work better for you than others. If you try rear entry (aka doggie style) and arch your back, you’ll probably be able to get deeper penetration. Some women report that crossing their legs (after he’s inside) in this position makes things snugger, which creates more intense sensations for both people. If you prefer face to face contact, prop your hips up on a pillow or the amazing Wedge. Bending your legs so your knees are against your chest also maximizes penetration. Since both the vagina and the penis vary in dimensions, you’ll have to experiment a bit to find the ones that feel best to you. Sadie Allison’s book Ride’Em Cowgirl is full of useful tips and fun ideas.


If you’re having trouble getting enough stimulation for your pleasure, you can always make sure that you get your needs taken care of first or keep the fun going after his orgasm. There’s a commonly held belief that simultaneous orgasm is the ultimate sexual experience, and while it can be fun, if that ideal is getting in the way, then ditch it. If he gives you oral sex or uses his hands first and then you switch to intercourse (or vice versa), then you’re both getting pleasured and I think that’s a great thing.

Quite a few partners of men with smaller penises find that oral sex can be a lot easier. After all, if you have a sensitive gag reflex or a narrow jaw, a smaller penis can be much more fun to play with. I definitely encourage you to get creative when it comes to blow jobs. Check out this excellent DVD on oral sex. Similarly, a slender penis can make anal sex more pleasurable, too. While a lot of people aren’t into anal play, if you happen to be, you might find that it feels better when you’re with someone on the slimmer side of things. You can check out this DVD on anal play.

As you can see, there are lots of choices. You may need to talk with each other to figure out what will work best for the two of you. While you might have some worries about talking with your guy about his penis size, I can guarantee that he already knows about it. If you approach the conversation from a desire to make sure that you’re both having fun, it’ll go a lot better. And whatever you do, don’t make fun of him or shame him for his body. Lots of men are hyper-sensitive about penis size and that’s not going to be a constructive thing to do.

Lastly, for the record, most penises are about five-six inches (12.7-15.24 cm) long and about five inches (12.7 cm) around. Lots of people have distorted expectations about penis size, especially if they watch porn. But a lot of people in porn movies (both male and female) are short — it makes penises look larger, just as they used to make cowboy movie sets small to make the actors look bigger. That sort of forced perspective is a trick of the camera, and unfortunately, it can lead to unrealistic expectations.

I hope that helps. Have fun!

Image Source: Getty
Join The Conversation
Girl101 Girl101 7 years
I have to admit that I have not been with that many men and maybe I have been lucky to never had this problem, but I have never not been stimulated sufficiently (or hurt by a man's penis. I mean I can tell a difference when looking at them, but once we are in the moment I can't recall ever thinking its not big enough or its to big.
Glamgirl1 Glamgirl1 7 years
he better make up with lots of foreplay and some really good long oral...the O is the goal!
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
I'd suggest different positions, there are tons of free websites out there that have just about every position. The positions are usually categorized depending on what you're after. (Face to face, from behind, sideways, etc etc) When you find one then you can just say "hey, lets try this, looks like fun!"
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
My bf is small but pretty thick, Hes tall so I was surprised. (dont laugh) I love him and he excites me in other ways, hes really passionate and I always reach my O. I use to be all for length but its not the size of the boat that matters, its the motion in the ocean. lol. Plus you want to be with someone who treats you right and pleases you. No but seriously, Love can make you change and except people you love as they are.
Florida-Snow Florida-Snow 7 years
I agree with the first comment that larger can be uncomfortable (if not downright painful), been there done that. It seems that from behind is the position where you will feel him most inside you, regardless of size.
weffie weffie 7 years
I'd add bending at the waist and grabbing your ankles, cos that's how I stand in the shower and it makes everyone feel huge :)
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
I would suggest firstly making sure you receive plenty, and I mean plenty of oral first, for me it is far more important than penetration (don't get me wrong, I do like that too). Secondly, it may be a cliche but size is not everything. In fact a particularly large lover can be uncomfortable rather than pleasurable. Technique is more important than size.
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