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I Don't Like My Boyfriend's Friend

"I Cannot Stand My Boyfriend's Friend"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been with my BF for about two years now and for the most part things are good. We talk and hang out regularly, we have met each others friends already and we have open lines of communication. Here's the kicker. He has this one close friend of his whom I cannot stand. They met each other about a year ago and I feel like the the two of them have something "special" together that I can't put a finger on. When we all hang out together, they start chatting and I have no idea what is going on. I somehow get ignored and I feel really crappy that I don't have any clue what's going on. It seems like whenever my BF and I aren't hanging out, they both make time to do something together. This makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, I feel like he puts him over me sometimes and that really gets me angry and makes me hate this guy even more. I feel like whenever I find out (or when he tells me) they are doing something together, it makes my blood boil. This dude to me seems like such a bad influence. I know it is partially due to jealousy, but what can I do to get past this?

I think the fact that I feel neglected when he is with his friend is making me feel insecure and depressed. This guy is also a known cheater (which kinda makes me hate him even more!).

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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danizzle danizzle 5 years
I clicked to open this because i hate my boyfriends bff, but my reasons are not because he takes up my bfs time, my reasons are that he takes my bf to strip clubs, and tells him that he has no ring on his finger so he is a bachelor and can do whatever he wants (like cheat on me), etc. does this happen? if so, i would say thats a bad influence..but just wanting to spend time together is NOT. are you sure you arent just jealous of their bond?
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 5 years
Exactly why is he a bad influence? Rumors are just that, have you seen or experienced something about him that is bad? The only thing you talk about in depth is a competitiveness for your BF's time and attention. That doesn't make you sound good to be honest. Their relationship is still in the honeymoon phase and he found someone he has a deep connection with. How are your friendships? Do you have a female BFF you feel this way about? Usually it's the girls that are bonded super tight and the guys just shrug their shoulders knowing they probably have no secrets from the female BFF, but that's the way it is. It's fair for them to have the same kind of closeness and for us to put up with it too.
friendlyfriend friendlyfriend 5 years
friendlyfriend friendlyfriend 5 years
It mostly sounds like jealousy. You have to be able to give your boyfriend his own space to have friends. I had a similar problem with my boyfriend. I was used to his attention, and when he finally went out and did his own thing, I didn't know how to deal with it. We don't always have to know what is on our partner's mind. If you're relationship is healthy, you should be able to trust him that he won't cheat regardless of who he's hanging out with. What they have is a friendship. As long as he's not disrespecting you, there's no need to feel this way. Let him enjoy his friend. I'm sure he spends more time with you than with him.
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