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I Don't Want to Break Up

"I Don't Want to Break Up, but I Don't Know How to Stay Together"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship. When we met, he had just broken up with his long-term girlfriend and I was still in a relationship. I actually carried on a long-distance relationship with him and my LD boyfriend for four months before I finally broke up with my boyfriend. Needless to say, they both found out and the new bf dumped me. After talking through things, for about two weeks, he agreed to forgive me. But he wanted me to move (to another country) to live with him and be with him. I did . . . but I had trouble finding a job and since he was the only person I had to talk to most days, I felt confined and resentful. Worse, I checked his emails one night and found out he had been secretly meeting his ex, buying speakers with her, going to movies, etc. He even had emails in his draft folder telling her how much he missed her and how he was sure he wanted her back. I confronted him, and he said he was trying to maintain a friendship with her and that those were written at low points when he had doubts. He said he finally cut off all communication with her in December. I had to fly home for my grandmother's funeral and at this point I'm not sure when I will be back. Because of all the turmoil and craziness and because he thinks I can't forgive him, he said we should break up. Logically, that makes sense, and it might be easier for me to find a job here. But breaking up with him just feels WRONG. Despite everything, I feel like we should be together.

I know we have so many issues: trust, baggage from the last relationships, needing to communicate better. Do you think it's possible for two people to work through all that? Do you think it's even worth it? I haven't spoken to him in 24 hours and it already hurts like hell. I know if it's meant to be, we could take a break and see from there. But I just want him in my life.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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