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I Got a Secret Abortion

Sunday Confessional: I Got a Secret Abortion

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I got an abortion without telling my husband. I was less than a month in, and just could not handle another child.

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community — join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups, and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

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SeriouslyThough SeriouslyThough 6 years
Get your tubes tied. A baby is dead becauase you did not practice safe enough sex. Sad. Don't let it happen again and I think it is too late and you probably can't tell the husband now if you couldn't then...Pray for forgiveness and peace of mind.
Lenay Lenay 6 years
My oldest child was originally twins. My ultrasound was too grainy to tell, and my doctor said I hadn't gained enough weight to be carrying two babies. She was wrong. After the first child was born, actions of the doctor and nurses on duty inadvertantly killed the second child. The undetected fetus (a fraternal twin with a separate placenta) wasn't removed until a follow up exam. (Then I had to be artificially dialated and given a DNC.) I signed all of the paperwork for the disposal of the fetus and never told my husband. Our remaining son was healthy, and I didn't want the joy of his birth to be overshadowed by the death of a child who never got to be born.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
I don't care what the choice ended up being, but don't you think communication is pretty darn important in a marriage?
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 6 years
You poor thing. That is a LOT to have on your mind. I don't know the exact details of your situation, nor do I feel qualified to give any advice, but I wish you the best of luck, no matter what happens.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
While it's ultimately your choice, last I checked eggs don't self-fertilize. I could see the temptation, if you thought you and your husband would have conflicting opinions, but I wouldn't be comfortable with the guilt and isolation of keeping that kind of secret. Maybe last month would have been a good time to discuss family planning?
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
i agree that its your body and your choice. but the MINUTE you start having big secrets from your partner; the clock is ticking on your relationship. if you need your husband to step in and help with your kids more, or need outside help, you should speak up. and please start using (more) birth control.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 6 years
I'm sure that wasn't easy. I hope you will be all right. I think you might want to bring the issue up though, unless you know already what he thinks about it, and don't agree with it. If you're using protection, you should ask him what he'd do if it failed. And if you're not.. I don't think just hoping for the best will work because it might happen again. I really hope you both can agree on whether or not you want more kids, or at least that you'll wait until you have more. If not, I'd rather secretly take birth control pills than have another secret abortion. I wish you all the best.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I agree with you, SKG. I'm 100% pro-choice, but it's sad that the OP felt she couldn't tell her husband about this. Is he anti-abortion? Is that why you didn't tell him?
PontNeuf PontNeuf 6 years
Your body, your choice.
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