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I Just Want To Live In A Stable Household

Dear Sugar
Over the summer, I worked at a camp. Before I left, I lived with my mother and sister and my father had his own house. When I came back from camp, my mother moved to Scranton, PA and took my sister and me with her.

Unfortunately, I couldn't take their arguing and my mother's drinking habits, so I decided to move in with my dad, his girlfriend and my two half siblings. One of these children has autism and the other one doesn't listen and she drives me crazy.

My dad is Muslim and he won't let me pick my own religion so I have to sneak to church. I feel like he doesn't understand me at all, and he wont let me make my own decisions, He acts like a dictator and I feel like I can't depend on him for emotional support.

All of a sudden I started becoming very angry and I can't seem to focus at school. All I want to do is runaway from my family. I've contacted many family members asking them to take me in and they've agreed, but my dad won't let me live with anyone else. What can I do? I feel horrible. Juggled June

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Juggled June
It must be very sad for you to feel like you have no where to go but the answer is not running away. It just isn't safe. I know that neither household seems appealing to live in right now, but try your best to get through the very last years you'll ever have to live with your folks.

Try making a list of the pro's and cons of each household. When you have finished a thorough analysis, your list should tell you where you feel the most comfortable. Include where you feel the safest, the most loved, where you can be yourself most comfortably, where you get the most attention and where you feel financially stable.

I know that you might be feeling desperate but let me please just remind you of the dangers of running away from home. Being alone in a strange place or roadway makes you an easy target for thieves, drug-pushers and criminals who are looking for prey. Living on the street for a couple of days will make living at home some seem peaceful! You don't want to try it.

If you really must get a friend and stay there for the night, call a relative or seek out a shelter (although I would suggest this as your very last option). If you are really feeling pressed at home and are seriously considering fleeing, please call the National Runaway Switchboard so they can talk to you and help you out. It's both free of charge and anonymous. The number is 1-800-621-4000.

juliet juliet 11 years
Oh goodness! First off, I've got to say: you are not a lone. Remember that the feelings you are having are totally valid - you're in a tough place right now, but running away isn't going to make things better. Continue to do the things that you love to do (even if it is a struggle sometime) - remember that you've got a lot to offer this world! You are in my prayers!
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 11 years
My advice is to tell your dad that you feel he is too controlling and that you're considering moving back with your mom. Then wait to see if he shapes up. If he doesn't even make an effort, I would move back w/mom, but if you find that he does and your life is improving, i would wait a little longer.
lickety-split lickety-split 11 years
well your dad must not be very strict muslin if he has a live in girl friend and 2 kids with her. you may not like what is going on at home but since you are old enough to have gone away for the summer to work it sounds like you don't have much longer to deal with it; this is a short term problem. you have very definate ideas wbout what you think a family is. when you are out on your own you can try and create that, with a religion, partner etc of your choosing. for now you have to wait it out. running away will just get you into another bad situation.
Adriana42 Adriana42 11 years
a lot of teenagers go through that stage, you should stay with your family...
pattyo pattyo 11 years
Move in with your family memebers that want to take you in. Otherwise, you will never find yourself. You deserve to be happy and live in a healthy and especially positive enviroment. Remember to use good judgement in what you do. Otherwise you will have regrets later. Goodluck!
My-Opinion My-Opinion 11 years
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
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