My boyfriend of two years broke up with me a week ago. We constantly fought over how much he worked and how he treated
work as a priority over me.
We were best friends a year before we dated and I really miss him. We went from talking every day to no contact at all.
I think I miss him more as a friend than anything else and I want that back with him. What should I say to him when I call so he knows that it's really our friendship that I miss above all? Lonely Louisa
Dear Lonely Louisa
I'm sorry about the break up. They really are the worst, but you've got to give him some space for a while - and one week doesn't constitute a while.
He broke up with you because of all of the fighting, and he's not going to want to hear from you just yet. Let the dust settle, and in another two weeks or so, drop him a friendly line with you sounding very cheery and upbeat.
That's the girl that he misses most, so bring her back and I'll bet he'll be pleasantly surprised to hear from you. Just say that you are happy, and doing great but you do miss being friends.
Apologize for all of the fighting and explain that your personalities aren't the best for dating but that you'd like to stay in touch if he thinks that is possible.
Listen to him, because that's what being a friend is all about. The best strategy you can have is not to ask anything of him. Start off slow and see how it goes. If you feel yourself getting clingy and needy, back off. That's really all you can do.
I hear that J.Lo and Diddy have always remained close. They inspire each other and realized they'd be better off apart. So if they can be friends, than you guys can too. Good Luck.