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I Want to Have Sex With My Boyfriend

"Am I Wrong to Want to Have Sex With My Boyfriend?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years and we love each other so much. The problem is with me — I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I can't tell him about that. We do make out often, but still I want to have sex with him. He says that he won't have sex with me unless we get married. We both live in a country where sex before marriage is not seen in good ways, but still, nowadays it seems no one to cares about this prejudice. His decision was OK with me, but it has been happening with me since last month. The thing is that I am so excited about having sex with him that I can't describe because I love him so much and I really want him to do it.

On the other hand, besides having this desire a thought just eating my mind that why am I so eager to have sex? Is this wrong? I mean I don't know what to do with this situation. Whenever he kisses me now days I get horny and get crazy about him. Sometimes I think that we all need sex in our life and I am acting the same way like everyone does but still can't tell him about it. What should I do in this situation? Please, any suggestions?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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BiWife BiWife 5 years
steph, I wouldn't call waiting over 2 years "rushing things"
steph1234 steph1234 5 years
Not sure what the other commenter meant by "society matters a lot too", but...if your boyfriend doesn't want to have sex....don't force it on him. It is respectable that he wants to wait till marriage. There are a lot of guys that just want to have sex...and that's all...there's nothing real, they don't care about be thankful that you have this guy that values his morals and beliefs...If you force it on him....he may resent you for it....Just enjoy kissing and the feelings you get from that and eventually if you 2 get married, it'll happen and be great. No need to rush complicates things...really!
Ray-shaws Ray-shaws 5 years
I believe that everyone then and now gets into this type of situation in which you are in...its okay to get horny or lust after having sex but the thing which matters most is that what your significant other thinks about that...if he is not comfortable or holds a strong law about losing virginity after marriage then no matter how much you will force you wont be able to change his mind.....maybe u just have to wait until you actually get married.... in fact relationships are the name of compromise right? On the other hand...society matters a lot too...
BiWife BiWife 5 years
Totally agree with Helen. What is up with the delay?? Are you guys still minors (under 18 years old) and have to wait until you're old enough to live on your own and get jobs? In most cultures where there's supposed to be no sex before marriage there is a lot of push for relationships to end in marriage in short order to reduce the temptation of premarital sex. You need to quit hiding things from your bf. Even if it's not something he says he wants, if it's on your brain, it needs to be on the discussion table. It's a big deal for you, it should be at least nearly as big of a deal for him if he cares about what you want.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
It's been two years. Why hasn't he asked you to marry him? Isn't that what is supposed to happen in traditional societies? You save it for marriage. But marriage is supposed to happen fairly quickly. Striking while the iron is hot, so to speak. You don't just sit there for years at a time grinding your knees together frustrated and celibate, being tempted and tormented by one guy, while going quietly insane. This is all way too much for any man to ask of you. If this guy can't step up ASAP, find a man who is ready and eager to follow all the way through.
Mandana85 Mandana85 5 years
I, too, live in a country where sex before marriage is considered to be a taboo. but everybody does it anyway ;) I didn't have this problem with my BF, he didn't rush things but he was the one who took the first few steps towards our having sex. I would guess your BF has a high level of self control, and it is hard to maintain it after two years. and No you are not wrong, you're just being a normal human being. I think you SHOULD discuss this with him, you'll never know what's going on in his mind. maybe he's doing this out of respect to you? have the discussion and be safe when it comes to action ;)
chibros chibros 5 years
I guess you should tell him what you feel, what's in your mind and what you want. Maybe he feels the same way and wants it badly as you want it too but worried to speak out as well. Thinking you might not be ok with the idea of having sex. Bring up the topic, speak about it politely with him, tell him what you've told us, listen and know what his responds would be like. If he wants it too, fine. If he's strictly on "sex after marriage", then i guess you should respect his decision and wait till then.
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
It's only natural to feel turned on when you're making out with your boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling a physical need to have sex. It's biology :) The problem is that you want to and your boyfriend doesn't. There's really only 2 solutions. You give in or he does. I think that in this case it should be you.. He has strong beliefs about waiting until marriage and pressuring into having sex with you against his wishes will lead to resentment down the road. You have to respect his core beliefs. If you wait, no one will die from the waiting. And no one will get pregnant. And no one will feel like they've done something they shouldn't. Good luck.
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