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I Want More From my One Night Stand

Dear Sugar--
I had a one night stand a couple of weeks ago with a woman whom I know is married and is in the process of separating from her husband, but have no idea on the details. She is a good friend of a close female friend of mine. Now I've had a couple of these in the past and none of them have affected me, however, this was a little different. We met a month before having sex and we almost immediately, with little conversation, starting making out. We never got as far as sex the first time because her girlfriends pretty much dragged her away from me.

The second time we met, she pretty much picked ME up, even though I tried to avoid her so nothing would happen. Well, after a few too many drinks, we ended up going home and sleeping together. She left the next morning without saying goodbye, no note, nothing. Now I feel like I am attracted to this girl beyond just the sex. I am confused whether or not I should pursue this and if she feels the same way. Please help! --Home Wrecker Henry

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Home Wrecker Henry--

First of all, let me remind you that you are asking if you should pursue a relationship with a married woman... not the classiest of questions. Getting involved with a taken woman (remember, she is in the midst of getting separated from her husband, not divorced) and being the other man is no way to build a foundation for a potential relationship in the future if she were to become a single woman.

From what you have told me, your connection with this woman has been strictly physical from the get go; so don't confuse sex with love. My advice to you is keeping your distance. Since you don't know the details of their marital problems, you don't know if they are planning on working through their problems and making their marriage work. If you learn through your mutual friends later down the road that they have in fact divorced -- then, and only then, feel out your connection with this woman and go from there.

Divorces are not easy for anyone involved and they don't happen overnight. This sounds like a messy situation so your best bet is to chalk this incident up to two people having too much to drink and letting your libidos take the reins. I wish you luck.


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