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I Want a Wedding Timeline

"I Want a Timeline For When We'll Get Married"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating my long-distance boyfriend for 1.5 years now and would like to get married at least by end of next year. I'm sure he wants to get married to me, but he doesn't want to give me a timeline for when. I understand that it takes the romance out of asking, but I'd like to have a say in the plan too! Is that unreasonable? Is the girl usually in the dark about when it's going to happen?

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redjupe44 redjupe44 5 years
You should enjoy the relationship as it is. It should come up naturally if he really wants to. If you feel he does eventually want to marry you, then don't worry about it. You would never want to pressure a guy into when you should get married, it's much better if you know they chose it on their own.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
Every time I read about something like this the song "Let's Stay Engaged" by the BNL comes to mind.   I think that it is entirely reasonable that you ask about upcoming major life events that involve you and your SO.  However, it should be asked - you would like to get married by the end of next year, but does he?  If so, how badly does he want it?  Kinda, sorta, maybe-yeah-we'll-see?   And if you are NOT married by the end of next year, what's the downside?  Personal disaster?  No big deal?  Have you asked yourself that?
plmnko plmnko 5 years
My boyfriend and I talked about getting married,we're waiting until we know we'll have the money for everything,the rings,ceremony,honeymoon,and all that. We have a general idea of when it might happen but we're not rushing anything. I don't want to know when he'll propose. I told him id prefer that happen in the spring and then get married in the fall/winter (I don't like long engagements) but I don't want to know specifics. After 1.5 years you guys should be discussing some time line. I say get a general idea and then relish in the excitement of not knowing.
BiWife BiWife 5 years
I don't think it's healthy to put a time constraint on getting married. If you want to get married, then tell him you want to get married and don't want to continue in a relationship that isn't working towards the marriage that you need/want. If it's a deal-breaker that he wants to wait indefinitely, then he needs to know this. If it's just feeling like you're stuck in a rut and want a major event like marriage to kick things back into motion, then he needs to know that you feel like things are stagnating in a bad way. Is there a reason why you guys are remaining an LDR? Have you talked about moving closer or moving in together? It seems like it's quite a jump to go from longterm long-distance to married, so perhaps if you can incrementally increase the amount of facetime you guys have, then it will transition more quickly into marriage. If you guys are safely in opposite corners of the country/world, you're really not creating intimacy and other things needed for a successful courtship/marriage.
henna-red henna-red 5 years
If it's what you want, then you need to talk about it. Some women wait until the guy decides what he wants to do, and some make choices about their future together, including the choice to get engaged. If you have a specific goal, then you need to know if he is on board with that, and the only way to do that is to talk about it.
Aquadave Aquadave 5 years
you have the right to discuss marriage by this time. Talk about it
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