I am 22 years old and I recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm not married but have been with my boyfriend for about four years. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and I don't know how to tell my parents. I have to tell them soon. The anxiety from the pressure is very stressful for me. Is there an easy way to tell them without being disowned? I've only got my boyfriend to talk to and I am scared.
- PreMarital Pregnant Prianna
To see DEARSUGAR's answers
Dear Premarital Pregnant Prianna
Have your parents threatened to disown you if you became pregnant? They may be shocked but give them the benefit of the doubt – they could be VERY excited about the prospect of having a grandchild.
I know you are overwhelmed so let's take this one step at a time. First things first – you need to have a serious discussion with your boyfriend about:
- Your plans for marriage (if any),
- How are you both planning on financially supporting your child?
- Where will you live with your baby?
- Your views on core values such as: religion, parenting styles, education and the breakdown of your involvement in raising this child.
It's important that you understand that you are bringing another person into this world. Once you and your boyfriend are on the same page, ask him if he is willing to be there with you when you tell your parents. Be willing to do the same for him when he tells his parents. If you think it will be easier, then talk to one parent at a time.
There are resources out there for support if your parents do freak out and disown you. There is Planned Parenthood 1-800-230-PLAN, The Riverways Pregnancy Resource Center , The Children's Aid Society or, you can always call 212-949-4800 for more information about adoption and foster care options.