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Infidelity Statistics

Dear Sugar
I have been single for some time now and I am frustrated with men! All of the guys that I meet just want to have sex. I guess that is what I should expect when I meet guys at a bar, but it's not the only place that I've been looking.

A man told me that all men cheat. He is married and was trying to get me to sleep with him - of course I said no. He then said that all men cheat and if they tell me that they have never cheated they are just lying. I hope this is not true, because if it is, I will never date or marry. What do you think about that statement? Scared Sophie

To See DEARSUGAR'S Answer,

Dear Scared Sophie
Of course it's not true. In actuality, only 45% of married men cheat. Does that make you feel any better? But only 75% of the spouses actually know about the affair. And about 25% of married women cheat.

What I found to be the most surprising number is that only 90% of Americans think that cheating is wrong. WHOA. That means 1:10 people think it's OK to cheat. 'Sup with that?

This married guy sounds like he would say anything to get you into bed...don't listen to him! More importantly, don't get mixed up with a married man. There is nothing but heartache in it for you in the long run. Out of all the 45% of cheating husbands, only about 15% will actually wind up leaving their wives for the other woman.

Join The Conversation
sanD13 sanD13 11 years
It's such a sad reality that so many people cheat.
OChottie OChottie 11 years
Well said allears.
Adriana42 Adriana42 11 years
It's so not true that people cheat only if a person is better looking than their partner. That's so not true just look at some of the celebrities for example that guy that cheated on Halle Berry or whatever that ugly guy's name is who was married to Elizabeth Hurley and cheated on her with a prostitute..
AllEars AllEars 11 years
yup i agree with EP also.....they are as faithful as their options. So if they find a knothole in a tree, you know where you'll find him that night. And better or prettier has nothing to do with it. I've seen it on both, cheating women also. If they are going to be unfaithful, there is no amount of love or submission that will stop them. Ive seen some girlfriends of mine leave husbands to die for, and THEY will even admit that, for what they scraped off their shoe. Guy friends , the same thing. Cheating is not just an isolated characteristic, it is a sign of what that person is wholly made of. Bad marraige? Leave it, THEN find a boy/girlfriend. Not enough love at home? Tell your wife/husband, if it doesnt change , get a divorce if the urge for someone is that strong. Staying in the marraige for financial security? Then STAY in the marraige. Your Boo-tay is bought and paid for. You can't change how you feel, or don't feel, but you DO have control of how you act on it.
fashonista14 fashonista14 11 years
He just wanted you to sleep with him! Not all guys cheat! He's just a scum who does that and thinks what he does is what everybody does because he's a pathetic looser who knows nothing better! Try looking at calssier places, bar's arn't the best place. Don't seen to anxous! If u seem that way then guys will think u r a basketcase who will sleep with anybody just 2 feel better about urself. Even if u r anxous try to hide it! Best of luck!!!
t0xxic t0xxic 11 years
EP that is so true and I totally agree. Thats y no matter what i know my hubby loves me but I still hve those doubts. Esp with him working and traveling. Who is to say he will not find what he considers to b better for the moment. (sorry for the 3xs posting)
t0xxic t0xxic 11 years
What I want to know is of those 75% of spouses that know or find out about the cheating how many actually leave the cheater. And I guess this is a nice question what do u consider cheating? Me personally anything that has to do with another female/male if u go into the relationship with out friends of the opposite sex u stay that way. That way theres never room for doubt. GWIM?
nicachica nicachica 11 years
i freaking hate cheaters too, especially since my first love did it to me (and on the night he took my virginity, that scumbag). however, i have realized that you can also inadvertently be "the other woman" as happened to me on one occasion. i even asked the guy if he had a girlfriend and he told me no, so we hooked up. of course, as soon as i found out the truth, i dropped him quick, but still! i felt really bad but it sucks cuz you can't always know...
My-Opinion My-Opinion 11 years
People seem to think that men cheat more than women, if ya ask me, it's e v e n..............there's lottsa ho's out there now, and women just don't "tell and brag" like men do cause if they did, unless they are preteens or early teens when they think it's what you're suppose to do and makes ya hot....when they figure out it's skanky, then they just keep it a secret except from their bff's which are usually hoho's too.....
ethiopan princess has got it right on. if men don't have the opportunity to cheat and/or have never been around someone more prettier or better in some way... they won't cheat. why would you cheat? stick with the best, until even *better* comes along.
tra tra 11 years
Maybe he told you that all men cheat as a way of getting you to change your mind about cheating with him. Kind of like peer pressure...everyone does it so why not. What an ass.
Adriana42 Adriana42 11 years
so many cheaters these days men and women fucking scumbags and sluts need to be exterminated
riotgeek riotgeek 11 years
People who cheat are losers, the lowest of the low. The thing that always strikes me is the amount of people who are in adulterous relationships (usually women) who A) want their partner to leave their current significant other for them and B) who don't think that they'll cheat on them if/once they do. They cheated on their current partner, you don't think they'll cheat on you as well?!?!
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 11 years
Men are as faithful as their options
caligirl1201 caligirl1201 11 years
I think the figure is more like 75% of men cheat, everyone knows people lie in those surveys. It's like when 80% of Americans say they are healthy and the obesity rate is 60%. Most men have opportunities to cheat and chalk it up to being lonely or not getting any at home. It's good you didn't cheat with the married man because he will get what's coming to him at the end. Also I have been hit on by a lot of older married guys since I was in high school even, so I'm sure the number that cheat has got to be higher than 45%.
AllEars AllEars 11 years
Yeppers on the skank hoes comment monica! Same happened here. Good part about that is SHE is supporting him instead of ME!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!
My-Opinion My-Opinion 11 years
cheating is for losers! good for you for saying no, people who cheat are so stupid, why the heck would you even be in a 'relationship' if you know you're gonna cheat, if your self esteem is THAT low, then be single.........ho around as much as ya want*
MonicaNichole03 MonicaNichole03 11 years
Hooray for you for saying no. When my ex cheated on me the girl knew about me and did it anyways. I hate those skank hoes.
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