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Instant Gratification in Relationships

3 Ways Instant-Gratification Culture Is Ruining Relationships

I once read the secret of staying together is staying together. But is it that easy (or hard)?

Marriage used to be a lot easier to arrange — especially if done for you! — but now the longer people wait the more of a decision it becomes. Maybe they know what they want and have less patience for what they don't, but can it go too far? So many relationships speed off from the gate only to crash at the sixth-month line. Of course, every situation is unique, but here are three times when we may be giving up too soon.

  • Jumping in too fast: People in love with the idea of love are always looking for that high. And as soon as it's gone, so are they. This is especially common among serial monogamists and, I may be biased, men.

  • Big ponds: This is especially true if you live in a city, but even if you don't the Internet makes our dating options endless. There's always some perfect imaginary person around the next corner.
  • Great expectations: People expect relationships to just work if they're right, and when they don't we may hear, "It's not supposed to be that hard."

But, how hard is too hard? What even separates the good relationships from the bad?

Join The Conversation
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
When it's bad, it's like a sixth sense, you just know. Modern man (and woman) has been domesticated to the point, we ignore our sixth sense more than we should. In a relationship, you have to try. I think it's TOO hard when you just don't care about trying anymore.
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 7 years
Yes, but we all have varying opinions on what "hard" is. One person may view simple communication as "hard," when it's a basic necessity of any relationship. That's when things get sticky. In my opinion, a relationship is "hard" when one person is behaving selfishly. Successful relationships require both parties to make an effort & always consider your mate. Instant gratification is all about "me, me, me" = selfishness. I agree. Instant gratification ruins relationships. On a side note: I don't think it means NOT to be spontaneous, though. Sometimes, it's difficult to know how to gage it. It used to be the men who would take the it's all confusing.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
amandachalyn, agreeeeeeed
amandachalynn amandachalynn 7 years
I'm not sure it's supposed to be hard when it's the right fit. I had many hard relationships. Then I met my hubby. It is so seamless we just mold together. We don't fight, we rarely argue. When we do argue we respect each other enough to really listen to what the other is saying, and we compromise. We laugh a lot and have a lot of fun together. Our 5th anniversary is on Friday, and though we can always use more money or less time working, our life together is wonderful. In my experience, if it's too hard it's not right.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
Sometimes the part about relationships not having to be that hard is true though. I mean, how long do stay in something that's not working well before you finally just drop it and say "no, really, it's not supposed to be that hard"?
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i read the headline of this, and before reading the content, i automatically thought of technology as the means of "instant gratification" - think text messages, BBM messages, email used to be that you had to wait for a guy to call you...and if you weren't home when he did, he would leave a message..but now, you get a text 10 minutes after your date ends...and you know that if he isn't calling, it's because he doesn't like you, not because he's working late or lost your number - you programmed it into his phone! you know he holds his iphone next to his head while he's changing the face of dating because you can always get ahold of someone whenever you want, anytime of day - and if you can't, you start freaking right out and questionning yourself and analyzing every single moment you spent together, rereading every text message on your phone trying to decipher what is going on... that's what popped into my head!
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