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International Man Of "History"

International Man Of "History"

Dear Sugar
I love and trust my boyfriend completely even though he still talks to his ex girlfriend. We started a relationship about 7 months ago - as soon as they broke up. She moved back to her home country after their 3 year relationship. They even lived together. She was hoping for marriage but he said he didn't love her and wasn't happy. Our relationship is very strong, very honest and very equal. The problem is his ex-girlfriend can't get over him and she calls him every week. She is depressed, and he feels bad because despite not wanting her, he does care about her. He recently mentioned that he should go visit her for a while and end things for good, but I don't think he should go. He is just not the type of person that can just tell her to leave him alone and then ignore her calls. I am totally stressing about this and we've had long, drawn out conversations about it, but it goes nowhere - just when I think things are better, she calls him crying. What should I do? Upset Ulla

Dear Upset Ulla
I don't think that he should go and visit her either. What's he going to do, fly there and leave? No way, they'll spend some time together (she obviously still wants him). A friend once gave me an EX formula to live by; History + Alcohol = Hook Up (or some call it closure sex). Nothing good can come from it. It's not his problem if she can't get over him. She needs to deal with the break up and realize he has a new girlfriend. What you should ask him is...Has he moved on? People just don't fly to other countries to confirm a break up.

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