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Intimate Problem: Sex and Gas Don't Mix

Intimate Problem: Sex and Gas Don't Mix

You met this great guy, you've been going out for over a month, and you just had the best date ever. You know that the evening is going to end with your first time in bed together, but there's a huge problem — the grande burrito you ate for dinner is wreaking havoc on your stomach. So how do you deal with being intimate when you're bloated and gassy?

Since holding it in won't work — it'll make your stomach hurt, and it could end up coming out when you least expect it — here are a few other options for you to consider:

  • You could lie. Tell him you feel like you're coming down with something — it is going around, after all. Do some fake coughing, hold your throat, apologize for bailing on your sleepover, and tell him that you don't want to risk getting him sick. Chances are he's feeling airy too, so go home, be alone with your flatulence, and the next time you go out, you can eat something more basic so you'll both be ready for getting busy afterwards.
  • Take the honest route. Tell him that the meal didn't agree with you and you're not feeling well enough for company. Tell him that you want your first time to be really special, that you're really excited to share this with him, but you'd rather not do it tonight since you're feeling so crummy. If he's sensitive, he'll understand and not take it as a blow to his ego.
  • What else can you do? To find out

  • Go for a long walk after dinner and get some ginger ale. The walking will help get rid of some of your gas without him knowing, and the bubbly beverage will help to settle your stomach.
  • Brew some peppermint tea. It won't prevent you from tooting, but it'll help make whatever comes out smell sweeter (it really works).
  • End your evening earlier, but say that you want to surprise him and take him out for breakfast or dinner the next day. He'll be excited about the future date, and it'll take his mind off not being able to be with you that night. Plus it'll make your first time even more special if you both wait.

Do you have any other ideas? If so, please share them below, since we could all use as many tips as possible!


Join The Conversation
Beaner Beaner 9 years
In the beginning of the relationship, it's hard to be THAT honest, cuz you're trying to make a great first impression. But if the relationship's going to last, you've got to be able to do it in front of each other. My opinion? The sooner the better.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I like the honesty route best out of those.
Ikandy Ikandy 9 years
Id end the date...
pink-elephant pink-elephant 9 years
I would be honest with him, sure, and tell him that the meal didn't agree with me...but I wouldn't just end it...I'd probably do the other suggestion and go for a walk with some ginger-ale. that sounds good. This whole convo reminds me of that SATC episode where charlotte got bad gas after eating out at that french restaurant with her man! So hilarious!
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I would tell the truth I mean everybody has had a meal that just did agree with them. I don't know there has to be an explanation of why your first time needs to be special. If you are not feeling well your not feeling well!
AKirstin AKirstin 9 years
"crop dust" LOL!! I'm all about truth here. I have yet to meet a man who didn't think it was funny anyway.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
um..ive never had that problem, because Im usually sure not to eat anything that will give me gas on a date....but alas, I havnt actually been on a date for a while, so...I just lean over and fart on my bf...he usually gets the point. just kidding. ;)
terryt18 terryt18 9 years
Farts are funny. They just are. Fact of life.
Emiily Emiily 9 years
I excuse my self to the rest room and let it alllll out. I'm not afraid to poop at his house anymore! :) I'd never end a night because of gas. Sex with my man is too good!
Meike Meike 9 years
Honest route...seriously, what is the point of being immature about the body's natural processes? I merely scoff at people who can't deal with it. It tells me they can never be truly intimate or honest with each other in a relationship. It's okay to be embarrassed and laugh about it afterwards but to lie about it, c'mon.
bikinib7 bikinib7 9 years
haha - i think i fart more in front of my boyfriend than he farts in front of me. so gross and unladylike, but hey.. he's going to deal with it down the road.. why not get it out in the beginning of the relationship? haha
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 9 years
ha! I would rather tell the the poor guy the truth. I was raised where it's just SO not ladylike to release my gas (YES! even with being raised around guys, my mom wouldn't allow me to) I just go to the bathroom. BIG DEAL. get up and go and THEN your ass can express itself. my fiance...yeah, he lets go. I dont care. But he's considerate enough to warn me if it's a bomb or not. this is such a disgusting topic, lmao....funny, but hella gross.
Belle1031 Belle1031 9 years
Ha ha, I've had this occur to me many times. The best and safest route is to be honest. Gas is a natural way of life and if the guy cant accept this then God only knows what other silly things he wont accept. :P
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
Gah the last date I went on with my guy b4 he moved I opted we do a cheap dinner .... (instead of his 5 star restaurants) so I suggested TGI Fridays. Gah was it good... we order every crazy thing... Such as fried mac and cheese... but later that night while I lay next to him in bed I had major gas... I even got up and went to the restroom but nothing would come out... it seemed like it took 3 days for me to fell better...but luckily i didnt have the Carrie Bradshaw moment.... and fart in front of my Mr Big
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
Oh yes...this seems to always happen at the WORST times. Lucky my boyfriend and I are comfortable enough to not care if we let one rip in front of each other!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
Well if you are a girl like me, who is gassy and if the guy is going to be with me , he will have to accept it and laugh with me. I made it a rule that if you dont play the fart game, your not my type. But if you are a girl who just cant toot in front of people, than I would say take some beano, excuse yourself if you have to and go "crop dust" the bathroom. Nothing worse than trying to hold them in and 1) you get a bad tummyache or 2) it comes out sounding like a balloon letting go of air.
KrisSugar KrisSugar 9 years
i have a hard and fast rule - don't eat Mexican food on or before a date, at least if you're going to be embarrassed by the consequences. maybe after you get to know each other better. :)
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
Good tips! :)
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