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Invasion Of The Diary Snatcher

Dear Sugar
I am 18, and a senior in high school. I've kept personal diaries since the age of 11 in an old suitcase under my bed. Lately, I have been writing about my best friend who has become quite promiscuous. I'm worried about her but I don't know how to talk to her about it, so I have been writing my feelings down to get my worry off of my chest.

Last weekend my friend spent the weekend at my house. Saturday afternoon after I got out of the shower, she said she had to go home and abruptly ran out of my house pretty upset. I called her later that day to ask her what was wrong and she said that she had read my diary. She said she was really hurt by what I had written about her and told me I was a terrible person.

Monday at school, all of our friends made me feel guilty for hurting her feelings. It didn't occur to me until later that she had invaded my privacy by reading my diary. My words were not mean spirited, however, they were not meant for her to read either.

My best friend and I haven't spoken since and to be honest, right now I am so angry with her that I don't really care. But I am upset that my friends are taking her side. How can I make my friends see that what I did wasn't wrong? Let Down Laurie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Letdown Laurie
Wow, I am sorry. Your diary is a place for you to keep a private collection of your thoughts and what your friend did by reading it without your permission is an invasion of your privacy. You have every reason to be upset. You should never feel badly about expressing your feelings in a forum based only for you. It's a very healthy release. How did your friend know where you hid your diary?

Have you tried telling your friend your side of the story? Do any of your other friends keep diaries? Try explaining to them that what you write about in your diary is not meant to hurt any one's feelings and is just a way to express your emotions in a private way. Talk to her and tell her you are sorry she has hurt feelings, but she hurt your feelings as well.

Sometimes arguments between friends take time to heal. All relationships are built on trust so your friend is going to have to rebuild that bond with you if you can forgive her for betraying you. If you are worried about the path your friend is on, perhaps you could use this time to voice your concerns and let her know you are worried about her. Hopefully something good can come out of this. Good luck.

Join The Conversation
Tiinnaaaa Tiinnaaaa 10 years
wow.. i would seriously be pissed off! If she was a good friend then she shouldnt of gone and read ur diary in the first place! I dont blame u for being angry at her and dont think u have anything to apologize for.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 10 years
I think that if she was going to read your diary (your private thoughts) then she should have been prepared to accept that the reason you wrote it down is because you couldn't say it out loud. She shouldn't have read it in the first place, but since she did, she should not have taken it so heavily. If it were something easy to say out loud, you wouldn't have it written down. Sometimes we don't see how stupid we're being, so talk to her and explain everything. ~* “I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it.” -Johnny Depp *~
bluejeanie bluejeanie 10 years
it's really awful that your friend read your diary like that. diaries contain all sorts of feelings and secrets that are just for you, what made her think that was acceptable? everyone needs to vent... anyways, i think things will be ok with you and your friends, give it time. i'd definitely talk to your diary-reading buddy and let her know that searching through other people's rooms for their private thoughts is unacceptable. it's no different than checking someone else's email or opening their letters.
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
WOW I feel for you bc Ive been there and quite recently to. When people find things about themselves they dont seem to care that this is just where u vent or just getting things off ur chest they only worry about how it made them feel an not that what they did was wrong to. Its hard because ur not in the wrong and ur entitled to ur feelings. U shouldnt have to aplogize but being shes ur friend it be good to talk with her like dear said just tell what u told us uve been worried about her u dont know how to talk to her about it and u used ur diary to sort thru ur thought and that ur also hurt she invaded ur privacy. Maybe apologize it hurt her but dont apologize for writing it. Time heals things like this, esp if ur really true friends even the biggest fight is forgiveable babes.
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