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Invention Alert: Fast Food Feedbags!

Pizza crusts filled with cheese and meat. Monster portions. Obesity at an all-time high. It wouldn't surprise me if a fast food chain did in fact come up with a feedbag you could strap to your face for hands-free gorging. As this Onion spoof suggests, "The innovative design of the feedbag meal does away with the hassles of chewing and stopping to breathe." Sadly, I've seen people for whom that would be an awesome proposal.

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