The following excerpt was originally featured on Jillian Harris and written by former star of The Bachelorette and current cohost of HGTV's Love It or List It Too Jillian Harris, who is part of POPSUGAR Select Living.
I mean, first of all, I learned to be very thankful. While everyone thinks that you go on the show to become famous or launch your career, I went on it as a gamble for love, career, life, adventure — whatever came my way — and I think most people do. While I was excited to watch the show this week, I was even more excited and proud to be watching first, new seasons of Love It or List It Vancouver (Love It or List It Too in the States), knowing full well that if it wasn't for this "silly" show with makeout sessions, premature engagements, drama, and tears, I most likely would not be where I am today. But there are a few other things I have learned from reality TV, in no particular order:
1. Powder. OMG I didn't realize how greasy I looked in pictures until I started wearing mattifying powder!! Ladies, this can make or break a photo, and there is a fine balance. No I have not had tons of work done on my face, rather I've only just now figured out how to do my makeup. For example (all pre-nose job) :) . . .
2. The important people in your life will always love you, no matter how many silly things you say, or how steamy that hot tub scene was. Believe it or not, as crazy as it seems at the time, watching yourself on national television doing really, really dumb things does not change the core of you. So you are all good. Party on!!!
3. On that note, don't judge. I've learned that everyone is different. Everyone reacts differently, everyone believes differently, and everyone loves differently. People are all a little crazy, just in their own way. That's what makes the world go round.
4. No one ever really means to hurt you. Relationships end, people cheat, people lie. Sometimes it happens. But no one really intends to hurt you. So the next time you are ready to send a text that will make it on texts from your ex try to just be as funny as possible instead of as crazy as possible so you can get more likes. Other than that, don't worry about him too much — you will find better, trust me.
5. Some people are mean. I've found the best way to cope with this is to just feel sorry for them. Think about it: how many emotionally wonderful people will jump onto the old world wide web and lash out at someone they have never met? Not many. So if someone says you're fat, have a hot dog nose (yes, this happened, and yes, I got a nose job because of it), choose the route of empathy instead of anger.
6. Life can be really, really fun if you let it. Wayne Gretzky once said, "you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." It's true. Take a chance on everything that feels kind of right.
7. Not every broken engagement ends in returning a ring. ;)
8. Spending more money on clothes doesn't mean you are better dressed. For the most part, I dressed myself on the show (with the help of the most wonderful, fabulous person I've ever met). Most of my clothes on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette were from Forever 21, Aritzia, Zara, Target, and H&M. I mean, yes, I had some killer gowns (thank you, ABC), but my everyday wear was truly . . . everyday. Don't waste what could be a beautiful retirement fund on a pair of Valentino studs unless you literally can wipe your butt with that 1,000 bucks and be OK with it. You can dress great for less!!!
9. Speaking of clothes, all of the girls dress themselves, until the very end (well, the second-to-last episode). And no, they don't get paid!
10. Speaking of getting paid, there isn't any money in reality TV. While the main Bachelor or Bachelorette gets a fee, it isn't what you would imagine. I remember coming off of The Bachelor and there being rumours in my hometown that I was now a millionaire (I wasn't). Now having said that, "these days" (because I am an old Bachelor veteran) there are ways to make money after the show, through endorsements, speaking engagements, appearances, blogs, paid tweets, and partnerships. And honestly, if you didn't get the final rose and you are heartbroken and hard up, I say seize the moment and take whatever opportunities you can! There is no shame in paying off your mortgage or student loans, and learning how to earn extra finances. You took a chance, it didn't work out, but that doesn't mean you have to go home with your tail between your legs! Shake that tail feather and find the positives! I heard a great quote once — "I used to care about people's opinions until I tried to pay my bills with them" — and I love that. I do believe that 95 percent of the people who go on the show, go to find love. But of course, there are always some ulterior motives, everyone has a life beyond just love, and it is important to look out for that as well. So yeah, that is my opinion on that! LOL.
Get a peek at Jillian Harris's current love and the signs you know he's "the one" here!