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Jon Hamm on Marriage

What Kind of Marriage Example Did You Have?

Jon Hamm told Parade magazine he had no plans to marry his longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt.

"I don't have the marriage chip, and neither of us have the greatest examples of marriages in our families. But Jen is the love of my life, and we've already been together four times longer than my parents were married."

Sometimes people who had the worst examples of marriage — and know it — seem the most prepared to take it on, but Jon knows we have all sorts of blind spots. What kind of marriage example did your parents set?

Image Source: WireImage
Join The Conversation
chequettex chequettex 6 years
My parents have always had what I now know to be a great relationship. Sure, they had a few arguments now and then, but they never stayed mad at each other, and they always "grossed us out" with their cuddling and smooching. They have been together for almost 35 years now. I think their marriage made me think that mine was just going to be the same -and in many ways it has been similar- but it hasn't been as easy as they made it look! A good marriage takes a lot of work, and I didn't quite realize the work involved before I got married. I hope that my marriage turns out like theirs, but it may take a while.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 6 years
My parents will have their 28th wedding anniversary this fall. I can only hope when I get married, that my marriage is that long and happy
starbucks2 starbucks2 6 years
My parents divorced when I was 5. Nothing bad going on, they just fell out of love, it was for the better. My fiance's parents have been married about 35 years, and while they're not unhappy it's not the relationship I want for us. They're not lovers or friends, they're just co-grandparents nowadays...
zeze zeze 6 years
I don't get why filing a license with the state makes is marriage while being with someone, living with them, raising kids with them is not? Sorry Jon, if you are committed to one person and living together you do have a marriage chip.
juicebox07 juicebox07 6 years
My parents were never married.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
If I used my parents as an example, I would never have married my husband - let alone have a relationship. It was way too dysfunctional and volatile. I am extremely proud of my mother for divorcing him.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
Terrible. My parents hated each other. But my boyfriend's parents still have a healthy relationship. I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything for me, but it's just nice to know that not all marriages are miserable.
danakscully64 danakscully64 6 years
My parents have been married for 34 years and have had a healthy marriage. When my siblings and I were younger, they never fought around us. My Mom stayed home with us (worked part time as a wedding Photographer) while my Dad worked up to 14 hour days. The roles are pretty much the same now. My Mom is a stay at home Grandma while my Dad still works ridiculous hours (both to pay the bills and he stays overtime to work on aerospace projects that need to be out). They're still very much in love. When my Dad comes home from work, they hug and kiss... and they usually grab each others butt. :P It's cute. On the other hand, my boyfriend came from a family with an abusive Dad. His parents divorced young and he remembers his Dad doing things like locking his Mom out of their home and them screaming at each other. It's no surprise that he doesn't have a strong desire to get hitched.
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 6 years
My parents just recently split after being married a little over 20 years. I know my parents love each other but they aren't in love anymore. My parents used to fight a lot when I was younger and over time the fights stopped and they tried to give it another go but they soon realized there was no point. They stayed together so long because they thought it would be best for my brother and I. They slept in different rooms, and while they did do things together it was more like two friends then a married couple. When they decided to split it was difficult to deal with because I always thought they would just stay together but I now realize them splitting up is best for all of us and my parents are both a lot happier now and slowly moving on. My dads parents have been married for nearly 55 years and I think they have set a great example of what a happy marriage is. They had their struggles but they managed to work through it and they are two of the happiest people I know. You can tell just by the way they interact with each other that they are still deeply in love.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years
They set a bad example. They divorced when I was 10, because of my dad's drinking. He quit- AA, church, you name it- but she wouldn't even consider taking him back. So he started again, wrecked his second marriage because of it, might drink himself to death at any moment. My mom still isn't over it, sometimes she tears up and tells me how awful it was. Yeah, relationships with alcoholics are awful (been there done that myself), but 15 years later? I just want to yell at her, "Fucking get over it already and stop bad mouthing my dad!" But my grandparents have been married 50 years and love each other more each year. It's so cute to see my 80 year old grandmama flirting with my grandpapa. Gives me a lot to live up to, but also a good idea of how joyful a marriage can be.
bengalspice bengalspice 6 years
my parents have an ok marriage ... but growing up with parents like them definitely made me think twice about becoming a parent. they're horrible role models in that aspect.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
My parents have been married 33 years and I think they gave me a great example of what a marriage should be. Of course they are not perfect and neither is their marriage, but they have always been partners in everything, from raising us to their business. Sure, when I was younger my dad worked more at building the business day-to-day and my mom worked more at raising us, but there were days when my mom went in to work and my dad stayed home with us. And sure, they've argued about things, but what couple doesn't? Recently, my mom was diagnosed with an illness that is getting worse. She has good days (when she can live completely like a normal person) and bad days (when she is so tired, in pain, etc. that she doesn't even leave the house). Through that, I've gotten to see a whole new side of my parents' relationship. My dad has really been nurturing to her. My dad's always been a loving person, but in the past, my mom was more outwardly nurturing. As much as I wish my mom could keep her symptoms more in check, it's great to see that other side of my dad and their relationship. The only downside to having my parents' marriage as an example is that sometimes I think I might expect a little too much from my relationships!
bransugar79 bransugar79 6 years
Both my husband and I had horrible examples of marriage from our parents. My mom and dad never loved each other and were really only together because my mom wanted a kid and my dad well I don't really know what his motives were. My parents finally split up when I was 12 and it was the best thing that ever happened to our family. I never had any illusion or hope that they would get back together because , even as a child, i could tell they were never meant to be. Despite all of that, and I'm sure partly because of it, I always dreamed of a loving happy supportive marriage. I think that sometimes knowing what you don't want is a very easy way to determine what you do want and need. Now I am married to a wonderful, loving, supportive, hardworking man who is also my very best friend. I can't imagine my life without him, and I know for sure I chose the right partner the first time.What happens with our parents' relationships always give us opportunities to learn and grow; and can only doom you if you aren't aware of what to take away from the experience.
stephley stephley 6 years
Your parents' marriage doesn't determine your destiny.
dexaholic dexaholic 6 years
Oh wow Chrstne, it's incredible to know that anyone would put up with what your mother put up with, let alone put her children through it too. You're an inspiration in that you are able to get past that and allow great love in your life! My parents divorced when I was 3, and my mom remarried shortly thereafter and has been married to my stepdad for 26 years now. I wouldn't say they have the most loving marriage, but there's glimpses of it. My dad never remarried, and has hardly dated. My mom messed him up something fierce!
le-romantique le-romantique 6 years
My parents have been together since they were 16 and married at 24. They are 48 now and still happily married... My older brother and my younger sister do not believe in marriage. I DO want to get married, but I'm in no rush, and really don't see it until I'm in my late thirties (unless, of course, THE man comes around.)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
From my parents marriage, I had a good warning. :) Similar to Chrstne, my marriage is a huge departure from my parent's marriage (so much so that even my parent's noticed!). It's a big relief to break that bad cycle, if you will. It's self-empowering, I think. Truthfully, when I was growing up, I was worried I would end up in an unhappy marriage, as my Mom always told me that's how marriages are. I'm glad my Mom was wrong about that, and that my husband and I manage a good marriage.
Chrstne Chrstne 6 years
My parents were married for a while, about 20 years, and they had a terrible marriage. They were vastly different people from the get go, my mom married him in spite of all of his lying, cheating, and even confessions that he abused his other wives. He often made fun of my mom, called her names, put her down - and it was every few minutes calling her a "c*nt" or a "stupid b*tch", or whatever else. He told my mom perfect wives were at least 5'10 and only 100 lbs max, and told me that too. My mom could not make any decisions for herself because he wouldn't let her. No say in paint colors, cars she drove, what kind of cellphone she had, etc. In our family, showing any kind of emotion other than happiness got you in trouble. Basically, my view of marriage was that I would have to settle for being miserable, but at least I'd be married. (I seriously did not believe anyone in the world had a marriage different than my parents had until I was around 18 - I thought all men acted like my dad, and all women acted like my mom while married). Thankfully, I am not stupid enough to do what my mom did. Thankfully, I will not say "I just want to be married no matter what" when someone abuses my children. Thankfully, I found a good man that I want to marry and who treats me incredibly well. Their marriage had no love and affection, their marriage was *full* of hate. I might not be married, but my relationship is filled to the brim with love, respect, and friendship. My view on marriage has changed because now I know what a REAL, loving marriage is supposed to look like. I might not have the piece of paper yet, but I have the substance.
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