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Lack of Communication With Husband After Layoff

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

My husband recently got laid off from his job. He is lucky because he was given 30 days to try and find a new position within the company before he's officially let go. He has a prospective job in another area of the company, but I am not sure where everything stands. He just won't communicate with me and let me know what's going on. It's very hard for me to be in the dark about whether or not he will have a job in a couple weeks, and it feels like he has completely closed off communication regarding this job situation.

When I ask if he's heard anything, he is always very vague and claims that he doesn't have any new information, but there have been a couple times when I have seen over his shoulder that he has gotten emails from the people involved with this potential job, so there must be some sort of news. How do I explain to him that behind left in the dark about our situation is really stressing me out?

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insanitypepper insanitypepper 7 years
He may think he's sparing you the anxiety. I was in a similar situation in September, before I got laid off. There was a last minute scramble to try to save a few jobs, and for weeks all the "news" that I heard was second- or third-hand. My manager was ridiculously optimistic about how things were going to work out, but his boss kept stopping by my desk and telling me how bad he felt about the whole thing. No way was I going to share the stress and anxiety of all those rumors and mixed messages with my husband. And now I don't tell him about every single job application I submit or every rejection e-mail I get back. He wouldn't be able to keep them straight!
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
I'd just be there for him. When my partner was unemployed I'd ask him how the search was going once a week maybe, and forward him job ad's if I found any. (I was unemployed too) All else fails your husband can take a part time job somewhere until something decent pops up. Money is money and a little trickle of income is better than none.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
I think the prior comments give good advice. For most men especially a man who has dependents it is a staggering and most frightening prospect to lose your ability to take care of your family. He may seem calm and calculating but trust inside he's anxious as hell and maybe talking about it too much makes him face his perceived failure just a little too much for comfort. My advice is wait for him to bring up the updates and then ask questions but don't jump him. Be supportive and strategic you want to make him feel comforted and get your 411 as well.
AlexisSF AlexisSF 7 years
sounds like things are in the works but nothing is set in stone. get off his back and let him work out all the kinks. he probably doesn't want to tell you anything prematurely in case things fall through.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
If you think you're stressed out, imagine how stressed he is. Maybe he's keeping you in the dark to avoid causing you stress. And if he says he has no news, maybe he really doesn't have any news. Just because he's gotten emails doesn't mean he knows anything for sure. I know as a couple it's your business too, but don't badger him for more information that he may not even have. You'll know in due time and you can deal with whatever happens when it happens. I would suggest making yourself available to talk, but don't hound him about it right now.
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