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At Least I Can Say I Tried

Dear Sugar
After 16 years of marriage and five years of my husband cheating on me, he finally left and moved in with his mistress. Our four kids were the reason why I didn't leave him in the first place and I always kept hope that he would realize I really was the only one for him. I lost and now I am broken hearted.

When does your head start to take over your heart? I know the right thing to do is move on and start a new life without him, but my heart won't let him go. I know time will heal all pain, but I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Any advice would help. Heartbroken Heidi

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Heartbroken Heidi
I am sorry. Having a broken heart can be one of the most painful experiences, but it sounds like you are better off without this man in your life. As hard as that may be to accept right now, you will soon be able to realize how much better your life can be with a partner who loves and respects you and your family.

Time is a wonderful healer and while it feels like there is no end in sight to the pain you are experiencing, try to remember your sadness will eventually go away. Do you have a good group of friends or family members you can lean on for support? Now is the time to really take care of you.

Do whatever makes you feel good; spend time with your kids, your friends, exercise, shop, get a massage, anything to keep busy. Unfortunately, there is really nothing I can say or do to make you feel better, breakups stink, but don't sell yourself short by convincing yourself he was the only man for you.

Time really is the only thing that will make your head take over your heart so try not to be so hard on yourself. There are many stages of grief after a breakup and as you experience the first few crappy ones, you will be well on your way to recovery. Good luck to you and try to keep your chin up.

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