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Let's Talk About Sex!

Let's Talk About Sex!

Did you grow up discussing sex with your parents, or if you're a mom, do you talk about sex with your kids? Well a new study is saying that making sex a normal subject of conversation at home will in fact decrease risky sexual behavior.
Sure, talking about the birds and the bees is embarrassing for both parties, but this research showed that the outcome is by far worth it. According to the article:

We can't say that kids whose parents talk about sex openly with them will have less sex, but research has shown an association between parents who are more open and kids who wait longer to have sex, have less teen pregnancy, and less sexually transmitted diseases, so communication is really important.

This information seems like a no brainer, yet I have to admit, sex was never an openly talked about subject in my house growing up, but what about yours? Were you raised to openly discuss sex and everything that comes with the territory with your parents? And do you plan to talk openly with your kids about it?


danielacatherine danielacatherine 8 years
i learned everything from school, friends, and the internet. my mom always told me not to have it (more jokingly) and implied for me to wait until college. we never had a sex talk and it was too awkward to ask her question...i did become sexually active at 15, which i guess is considered early
myprincess1120 myprincess1120 9 years
I plan to openly discuss sex with my children. In my household growing up, my parents felt it so taboo and I feel this contributed at a certain level to me getting pregnant at such a young age.
sanriano sanriano 9 years
i come from a strict and conservative catholic family, so...the only time i was ever lectured about sex by my parents (well only my mom approached me about it) was her asking me if I've had sex and that I shouldn't have sex before marriage. end of discussion. i definitely plan on having an open discussion about sex with my kids in the future. however uncomfortable it may be, i wish i had one with mine. having an open discussion doesnt necessarily mean allowing them to have sex. it's just a way to help them develop their own feelings/views/beliefs about sex.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
Definately not something talked about in my house when I was growing up.
LadyP LadyP 9 years
If my sisters and I ever had questions about sex, my parents, expecially my mom, was always there to answer. But I learned a majority about sex from friends. I do plan on educating my children about sex. It's very, very important these days.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
Wow petite42 you sound like an awesome mom!! :) I really hope to be like that with my kids (whenever I have them!)
JovianSkies JovianSkies 9 years
Sex was always a comfortable issue in my house. If I had a question, my mom would always answer in honesty, and didn't sugarcoat anything. It was very natural and not at all awkward. We never had "the talk", because it was never needed, as we were (and still are) very close and open with each other. I suppose I'm more fortunate than those whose parents considered it a painful discussion...
k-squared k-squared 9 years
My parents know that there's a mandatory sex ed class every year. They don't bother. :P Plus, we're hit with so much stuff about sex every day, so it doesn't bother me that much. I know about abstaining and all that. I'm a good girl :)
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
I was brought up not to have sex before marriage but my mom was always very open about sex from an early age. She told me that it was a good thing but something I should wait for. I didn't feel extremely comfortable talking about it but it wasn't something I learned from friends or TV. I had a pretty good health class for statistics. I've always sort of been the curious but shy girl so I knew all the stuff I just never used it.
iRose iRose 9 years
My mom gave me her Harold Robbins book to read when I was 11, it was Goodbye Janette, anyone who's read it knows how high the smut factor is in it. Although it left way more questions than answers. The rest I learned from friends/tv/internet. No sex talk. Nope.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 9 years
my mother is pretty squeamish about that topic as well, but my dad isn't, so I ended up getting most of my info from him. As weird as it was at first to hear it from my dad, I'm sort of glad he did it now. He told me he didn't want me to go out into the world and be totally naive about it. It's nice to get a guy's side on it too, he'll explain things I never would have known about and so now, whenever I have a question or something I can just ask him and I know he'll be totally honest with me.
Jeny Jeny 9 years
Now that I'm 24.. I do talk to my mom about it.. but when I was younger.. it was a no no.. not to have it and for sure not to talk about it lol
petite42 petite42 9 years
My parents were definetly more open than most, but I also got the mixed message from my mom that good girls didn't have sex until marriage. So when I did become sexually active, I knew enough to get myself on birth control, but I sure didn't tell my mom because I knew she'd freak out. ;-) The funny thing is that now that I'm in my 40s my mom and I talk much more about sex, and in more detail than I am personally comfortable with! I don't think any kid - no matter what age - wants to imagine their parents having sex. :-( With my own teen girls I made a promise early on that if they were old enough to ask a question, they were old enough to hear an honest answer. So from very early on we've talked about sex. They knew everything long before they had sex ed in school. Now that they are 13 and 15, some of the questions really make me blush... and yet, I still answer them to the best of my ability. Sometimes, I have had to say, "Let me think about that and get back to you" but I always do. As they've gotten older it's less about practical matters like where babies come from, b.c. and std's, and more about emotional issues like how do you know when you're ready and who is a good choice for a mate and is there anything wrong with recreational sex. There are some questions however that the answer is: "That's personal and private and between your mom and your step-dad." Because I *do* think that sex is and should be a private matter. But I will still answer in more general terms. My general message has always been this: I am a realist and I don't expect them to be virgins until marriage, especially since my hope is that they will start careers and become financially independent before settling down. I do expect them to hold off until they are emotionally ready to handle the responsibilities that come with a sex life, and I do think any person still living with mom and dad don't qualify. Until then, I encourage them to masturbate and learn what works for them. I tell them that sex is fun and pleasurable and a part of a rich and rewarding life. I do expect them to use b.c., always practice safe sex, and be selective about their partners.
anna_muffin anna_muffin 9 years
My mom gave me the "Where did I come from?" book when I was about nine, the rest I found out from various girl and women magazines. I've always felt very well informed. When I was younger, anytime I would be leaving for some holiday with my boyfriend, mom would tell me to "be good", which I always understood as "be safe". But otherwise, I can't imagine talking about sex with my mom, even though my sister does.
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
Hm. Once when I was about 11, my mom was driving me to a swimming lesson. Stopped at a red light, eyes pointed straight ahead at the road, she said, "Listen up. Someday, some bad boys are going to want to lie down with you and take your clothes off. Don't do it." That was our one and only sex "talk," and that was all she said. I had no idea what she was talking about, and I sure didn't want to do whatever it was she was describing :D
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
no sex talk at all. not even with my sister. i am incredibly close to my mom but i can NEVER talk sex with her, even now. it would make ME so uncomfortable!
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 9 years
Ugh, totally taboo at my house.. all we got was "You better keep the door open when you have a boy in your room" So I tried to impart any wisdom on my younger brother but even that was a little blush-inducing since we did not grow up being comfortable talking about that stuff.
cvandoorn cvandoorn 9 years
All I got was the "don't get pregnant" talk. I plan on being open with my future kids!
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
my mom was (is) an open person. we talked about sex. it wasn't one of those "birds and the bees" talks. it was the real deal. my mom and i were very close, but i didn't tell her when my cherry got popped. (just didn't bother to tell her). she found out about it way after it happen. but today, i'm open about my dildos (if i go shopping with her, i always convince her to buy a jumbo pack of batteries for me- hell, batteries are expensive. let HER buy them for me. nothing but the best for my babies.),we talk about guys who THOUGHT the sex was great despite me laughing at him in bed (i really was trying to be nice, but he was trying to say these cool phrases during sex, and it was corn-corn-corney LMAO). i think it was great to have a parent who wasn't squimish about sex.
minaminamina minaminamina 9 years
My mother was very open with me about it, and my father is a doctor, so I used to hear horror stories from him a lot. But my mom really helped me the most - I never asked specific questions, but she would always ask me really funny, cute questions in awkward ways... like, "Honey... are you seeing a boy? Because I don't care if you are... but I just want you to know that, um, it's ok if you are curious, but always be safe..." and would leave pamphlets her gyno gave her in my room. It did help me, honestly, because I never felt sex was taboo, and I waited till I was ready to lose my virginity... with the aid of condoms, birth control, and a loving relationship. I don't doubt the results of the study, because I know it certainly helped me in my case, whereas friends whose parents treated sex on par with murder did NOT learn basic things about their body, including how STDs are passed along, and that anal and oral sex are still sex.
adrilenee adrilenee 9 years
We never had the 'sex talk' or whatever (nor did we ever have the offical 'drug talk') but my parents always made it clear that they were there for me if and when I wanted to talk and we always had a very open relationship-- we've always been close.. What I learned specifically about sex and STD's, etc was from school and that was plenty... I didn't really have much interest in that (which ended more than one relationship); I had other things going on.. I guess I don't know what in particular they did but they did something right!
sugarsister sugarsister 9 years
my mom decided it was time to talk about sex when i was 18 and she found a condom (used) by my bed. i think if it hadn't been there she never would have brought it up at all in hopes that my sisters took care of it. if she only knew i learned everything from my best friend when i was nine. her mother had no problem imparting such delicate information. when i look back on it, i think my mom should have been thrilled that i used protection. i mean, if i saw a condom by my legally-adult daughter's bed i would figure, sweet, my work here is done
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 9 years
nope. no sex talk. I was really naive and had it not been for my friends, I wouldn't have known dipshit about the subject matter.
facin8me facin8me 9 years
Wow, it's actually ok to talk to your kids about sex? And it's not considered "child abuse?" And instead of young girls becoming sexually active at 10, talking to your kids about sex actually decreases risky behavior? Imagine.
aeschere aeschere 9 years
my parents never gave my sister and i a sex talk. never taught us anything about it... in fact, my mother kind of raised us to think it was shameful... a lot of good that has done :OY:
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