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Letting People In

"Am I Sabotaging My Own Love Life?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

When it comes to relationships I have a lot of trouble trusting men. I have been told I come across as quite guarded and that I can be very intimidating. Usually when I'm at a party or similar event — in which meeting people is in order — I tend to shun any male attention and refuse any guy the chance to get to know me. I consistently refuse drinks, refuse conversation, and I usually explain to them that I am just not interested; I often regret being so dismissive. My friends always tell me I'm too picky and should work on being more open to fall in love — or at least in "like" — but no matter how hard I try to take this advice I always end up shying away from anyone, regardless of if they're actually a really nice guy or not. 

I recently met a guy who I really liked but I blew it because he misinterpreted my distant behavior as lack of interest. In reality, I was just so scared I would say something dumb and he would decide he didn't like me anymore. When I explained the situation in full to a friend, she said that I seemed to have a fear of commitment. She said that I fear depending on a guy too much or caring too much. I had to admit that she was probably right and I had been subconsciously self sabotaging potential relationships because of this fear. I have been very slowly coming out of it but I want to fast forward this process. Any tips?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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