A San Diego man was busted for poaching when fish and game wardens noticed "odd bulges" in his pants. Wish I could've seen how that went down: "Is that a lobster in your pants? Or are you just . . . no, it's a lobster." The lobsters were unharmed and returned to the ocean. The Ventura County Star has the scoop on the crustacean smuggler. I gotta say, of all the things a dude could stuff down his pants, lobsters have got to be the worst choice.