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Lonely After Five O'Clock

Lonely After Five O'Clock

Dear Sugar
I feel that I am a very social, kind and friendly person to be around. I do have friends, but people never seem to invite me out with them after work or on the weekends and I am not sure why. What are some things that I can do to try and change this? Bored at Home Heidi

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Bored at Home Heidi
I am sorry you are feeling left out. Have you been sensing a disconnect from your friends or have you had a falling out that that could be preventing an invitation to hang out on the weekends? Are your friends as social as you or are they homebodies?

Try making the first move and initiate social plans with your friends instead of waiting for them to ask you. Friendship is a two way street and takes work from both parties. Could your friends be feeling the same way you are and afraid to ask you to make plans out of fear of rejection?

Try asking one of your gal pals if she would like to go see a movie have dinner this weekend. See if planning helps to get the ball rolling. Hopefully putting yourself out there will pay off and your nights sitting in front of the TV will be behind you.

Join The Conversation
rubialala rubialala 10 years
I complain about being bored, being lonely, etc., but I am as lonely and bored as I want to be. I don't want to be rejected so I don't ask people to do things. Then they can't say no. Are you doing that? Also, think about the places your friends are in their lives. Any newlyweds, new babies, etc.? The holidays are so busy, too, it could just be that people are spending time with their families.
cubadog cubadog 10 years
What is stopping you from starting your own evening get togethers? Twice a month I have a group that gets together for happy hour always at a new bar. It started because we were all sick of sitting at home and not having much of life. We started with a small group but we slowly add new and interesting people. The best part is that there is no age limit so you get a chance to meet new people and network!
grl-in-the-world grl-in-the-world 10 years
Bored at Home Heidi, Dear has some good advise, maybe your friends don't feel they know your interests well enough to socialize with you outside of a work situation? What about organizing a casual poker party for a Friday after work? Or a potluck dinner? Ask your work friends to each bring a dish and a CD of their favourite music to share with the group. If you're more low-key you could join or organize a bookclub and invite people to share their thoughts on a book in a casual tea and cookies atmosphere. Once they get the hint that you are interested in socializing with them outiside of work, I think you'll be on the recieving end of more invitations.
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