I doubt you’re a stranger to the long-distance, mostly-conducted-online relationship. In fact, you may be involved in one now.
My girlfriends and I certainly are, and last week over sushi, I came to an epiphany as we tried to comfort one another with “mine-is-worse” stories.
Basically, we all met amazing guys — guys we would be “officially” with right now, if only we were in the same location! We all felt we met someone with whom we shared something really special, but the distance was keeping us apart.
As I sat there listening to a friend share every minute detail, as if trying to convince us her romance was legit, I wondered, why do we all meet great guys from far away, but the guys we meet locally rarely make the “meant-to be” cut?
To see one theory,
I suspect we go into these “relationships” with guys we meet briefly and ultimately invest hours and hours of our time talking to, creating a relationship that without digital communication, probably wouldn’t exist. I think we enjoy these relationships because they give us the freedom to create the perfect guy in our heads. I don’t doubt for a second that he flirts with you or that you really did hit it off that weekend in Aruba — but I think for every hour spent talking online, we create days worth of relationship in our heads that probably never did, or never will exist. I think we fabricate the missing pieces that would normally be provided in a regular relationship.
Are we so discouraged by our local dating options that we prefer to create ideal relationships with guys online? And why do we believe he’s so much better than the guys we’ve dated nearby? I think we build these long-distance guys up in our heads, putting them on a pedestal simply because we didn’t have the time to realize it just wasn’t right. And we wonder if he really was “the one” and blame distance forever for keeping us apart.
Have movies and fairy tales taught us that our soul mates are out there, and if we just believe, fate will bring us back together? And are there ever times that it does work?
Let me know what you think and if you’ve ever had success (or terrible failures). I’m sure you all have stories!