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Losing Friends After Breakup

Have You Ever Lost Friends in a Breakup?

If you're friends with TrèsSugar on Facebook, you know we ask a simple question of the day every day. The responses to one in particular caught my attention recently. We asked: how do you handle mutual friends after a breakup? Some people seemed OK with letting friends go. One commenter said: "I'd let them choose. If they prefer to be friends with him, since I can't make them be friends with me, I'd subtract myself from that situation. Being friends with an ex and/or his friends can sometimes cause problems, and I don't want that."

Others seem ready to divide them up along prerelationship lines: "I would keep my own and cut his off." That seems fair, but also sad especially in the case of a long-term relationship, since you've likely built up relationships with your ex's friends over time. But trying to keep them in your life could make it hard to move on. So I'm curious, have you ever lost friends because you lost a boyfriend?

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KateAthens KateAthens 6 years
Yes, and it hurted me, but i guess that means that they were my friends only in my head.
amber512 amber512 6 years
Thankfully I have never been through a breakup, so I haven't had to deal with this!
hibiscus96818 hibiscus96818 6 years
I became very close to some of my ex's friends. After we found out he had a wife and kids living in a different state, I broke up with him and his friends stuck by my side because they figured if he had been lying about something so big, there wasn't a true friendship there.
liamarie liamarie 6 years
Once I had recently moved to a new town and didn't have many friends. The only friends I had really made were a brother a sister. Well, once weekend their older brother came to visit from a nearby town, we hit it off, and when he moved back for the summer we were together every day. So suddenly I went from friendless to a huge group of friends (since they had all lived there all their lives). Well after about 6 months he broke up with me and moved back to the town he had been living in. So I was left without him and my only friends were his friends. It was terrible. I could not hang out with anyone without hearing about him or having him call someone I was with and since I was friends with his siblings I would always see pictures of him at their house or his Christmas stocking. And I always knew when he was in town because that would be the weekend no one would call me. Eventually I just decided it was better to have no friends then have to go through that just to get out. And I found out everyone had just been my friend for his sake since no one seemed to care that I stopped talking to them.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I just did, actually. I think it's immature to force your friends to pick sides where mutual friends are involved. I've never lost a friend during one of their breakups before, but recently, I hung out with a friend's ex-boyfriend (in a group setting, mind you- it wasn't a romantic date hangout thing) a couple months after their breakup and she decided that was just terrible and has since dropped off the face of the planet. There's probably some exceptions and extreme cases where remaining friends with both parties would be unacceptable, but in general, I don't see what the big deal is. I've never cared if my friends remain friendly with my exes.
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