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This or That: Love or Sex?

After a dry spell, you finally get back out on the dating scene again. You meet some okay guys, but they’re all pretty bland. What you really crave is excitement and some serious passion and then one day, you meet him. He makes you smile, and you really feel like you can be yourself around him. But as you get to know each other and the relationship unfolds, you discover one big bummer. Would it be worse if . . .

This: You’ve fallen in love with him, but the sex is just blah? You’ve never felt this way about anyone before, but you can think of a handful of people you’ve had more passion with.

Or . . .

That: The sex is absolutely stellar, but the rest of the time he feels more like an old friend? You’ve never been so sexually satisfied, but when you’re out of bed, you’re already losing interest.

Which would be worse?


Join The Conversation
Karma87 Karma87 9 years
I agree the question reads strange...a woman can always teach her man what to do and how to get her off. We have a way that doesn't come across as "teaching" per say, just "guiding". Done right, and he'll never know he sucked in the first place. It's all perspective to me, anyway.
LadyP LadyP 9 years
Not having any chemistry outside of the bedroom is worse, IMO.
Meike Meike 9 years
The second option is worst. As for the first option, practice makes perfect.
lizlee89 lizlee89 9 years
I think you can love can develop from great chemistry, and great sex from a deep love and connection. However, I think that love should come before sex...
Leanne1078 Leanne1078 9 years
I don't think that you can necessarily teach someone to be compatible in bed with you...I was in a relationship for 7 years and he was the best friend I ever had. It's not that he is bad at sex, he just doesn't have the same style as me. And I am totally vocal about what I like and he tried, but the chemistry was just never right and the problems in our sex-life eventually bled over into everything else. I feel like if the passionate side of that relationship existed, we would have lasted forever! Thankfully, my current man and I are completely compatible. It makes it a lot more comfortable!
samischo samischo 9 years
both of them are dealbreakers! haha maybe not but i've experienced the second choice, and it killed our sexual chemistry bc i started seeing him as a friend
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Sex ins't the be all and end all. Not just anyone can have love. Lets be honest, you can have sex with someone and they still don't respect you. Not what i want.
mz_selina_kyle mz_selina_kyle 9 years
You aren't "doomed" if you love someone that loves you and they are not good in bed... they can be taught!! lolz... think about it. But if they are good in bed already and they dont have Love.. that is when you know its going to end one way or another.. I've never heard of a couple that was good in bed but awful in all other ways and no love either ever make it past maybe a year. Anyway its Funnnnn to teach how to get good in bed.. guys lovvvvve to experiment and they really love to know when they are doing a good job.. lolz.. They do!! PS I think some voted backwards, they did not make this poll very clear.. it was WHICH IS WORSE not which would be better. eeeek.. you may want to vote again if you didn't catch that part ;)
19Aquamarine55 19Aquamarine55 9 years
This one is hard....but I have had this experience. He was so compatible with me in many ways. We talked about everything, had similar interests, he was totally devoted (almost too much-started being clingy and dependant) we laughed together, and did cry over things together. He was truly my best friend, BUT, the sex was just not fulfilling. For me, the chemistry just was not there. And I hated that, because that did play a factor in the break up. I want the whole package....I don't want to settle anymore.
emalove emalove 9 years
Terrible sex can ruin a relationship or at least put a serious damper on it. I think This would be worse than That.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I know that the "This or That" is supposed to be a tough choice but this one is especially bad... those are both terrible! =(
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
I think being crazy in love and having a terrible sex life is bad... I can't carry on a relationship is the sex isn't up to par!
lily8206 lily8206 9 years
I agree with lilprincess!
Pistil Pistil 9 years
Yeah sunshowers, I always have to rescan it to figure out what it's asking. I figure you can always learn new tricks, right? I've noticed in these kinds of topics it's always the hypothetical guy who sucks in bed... what if it was the other way around? I mean, I hope I never get dumped because I'm that bad at sex...
sunshowers83 sunshowers83 9 years
Hey Dearsugar, these polls are a bit confusing. The way I read it, I assume that the question is, "Which is worse: This or That," but I can see how some people would end up voting for the option they actually prefer instead of the one that they think is worse. Has anyone else gotten mixed up due to the format?
sunshowers83 sunshowers83 9 years
"If you love someone who sucks in bed, you're doomed! :)" Haha, lilprincess makes a good point. :D But I agree with Sun_Sun, both answers SUCK. I'm so glad I have a guy who's the best of both worlds!
millazbabi millazbabi 9 years
i choose this becuz i love my babi and he means the world to me and i never want to loose him....we may do that sometimes but its not what our relationship is about....we are a perfect me we dont fight cuz we talk about our problems with eachother....never keep anything from your boyfriend/girlfriend cause they will find out....i learned that with past relationships.....i love my babi now and forever..... yup i'm just me
lilprincess lilprincess 9 years
I would rather be with someone great in bed... because after awhile you say "thank you" and move on to someone you have chemistry with in and out of the bedroom! If you love someone who sucks in bed, you're doomed! :)
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
booo, they both suck :P
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
I chose that. I would rather be in Love w/ a great guy whose not that good in bed. Eventually, he would get better with time. [I hope] :P
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