I have a problem with two friends of mine that are married. They have dropped off the face of the earth! The married couple, my husband, and I used to always hang out together. They got engaged a year ago, and asked my huband and I to be in the wedding. I helped a lot with planning the bridal shower and with wedding details (since my husband and I had just married the previous year most of this stuff was still freshly in my head). The wedding came and went (over 6 months ago) and since then, I have seen the bride once, and the groom twice. I still talk to the groom through e-mail but the bride will not respond to e-mail's, phone calls, or text messages. The groom says they're just busy and she's particularly stressed with getting adjusted to "married life". I'm sorry, but when I got married, I didn't forget about all my friends. Maybe she is stressed, but why can't she return any of my messages? My husband and I were originally friends with just the groom, and I met the bride when they started dating. We grew very close during they time they were dating and spent so much time together (just the two of us, and as a foursome) that she became one of my closest friends. I really don't know what's going on and I would think she would be coming to me with her problems. Any suggestions? Hurt and Confused
Dear Hurt and Confused
It's common for brides to have post-wedding blues. They often crawl into a shell because they feel overwhelmed with facing the music that the honeymoon is literally over and now it's back to normal life. Their big day has passed and they are no longer the center of attention. Oftentimes a newlywed can put high expectations on themselves to be a great wife and partner - and that can be stressful. Combine that with; thank you notes, name changing and a few extra pounds one puts on during the honeymoon (because she's probably eating like a normal person again and not exercising as frequently). Lastly, there's the adjustment to looking at life in terms of family and not just as a dating couple. I know there really isn't an excuse for her not to return your calls, and hopefully she realizes that you were there for her selflessly in her time of need and now she's just completely dropped you. I'm sure you are hurt, how could you not be? You grow extra close to people during their wedding phase of life. You spend time meeting all of their childhood friends, family, siblings and learning about the little things they like. It's a really fun time, so to have gone through this with someone and then have them become MIA really stinks. Hopefully this is just a phase. She's being pretty selfish if she can't even return a phone call and explain to you what's going on...suppose you need her friendship for something?