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Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship

Group Therapy: Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship

This is an excerpt from a Group Therapy question in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I just moved away from home for the first time to attend graduate school. I have left behind my dear family and friends but also my boyfriend of almost 2 1/2 years. We are very close and strong and have discussed being married, having children, and our lives together in the future many many times.

Since there are a lot of holidays during the Fall semester we will be able to visit each other quite often. We talk on the phone a couple times a day and I am looking at buying a new computer with a camera so that we can skype. He is coming up in about two weeks and we are going to celebrate our 2 1/2 year anniversary then. We have discussed a promise ring, but I do not want to get my hopes up. We are both devoted to what we have. I am strictly here for school and work and he still has a year left of school back home, so we will both be busy that nothing should come between us.


I was just curious as to how if any of you have experienced a long-distance relationship what you did to keep it exciting and fun. I am terribly worried that we will not make it, and he knows my feelings but reassures me it is only for a little while and that we are going to be just fine. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
Lenay Lenay 6 years
Long distance relationships are easy. It's seeing someone every day ( during sick days and bad hair days and PMS days) that's hard. Buy some felt tip markers, gel pens, 3 new shades of lipstick, a roll of stamps, a box of stationery and several sizes of envelopes. Then write to him ( yes, by "snail mail") every week. Tell him what you're doing from day to day. Send poetry. Send him your sexual fantasies, your career goals, your vision of your future with him... whatever comes to mind. Then cover the envelope in doodles and kisses. It's fun!
sassy_chick sassy_chick 6 years
I always feel like I can comment on this, because we were long distance SC to Chicago for two years and Greenville SC to Charleston SC for one year. We met on a cruise, so we never lived inthe same city until we got married. Text during the day, send pictures, send him care packages, make sure you say I love you every time you talk. Sometimes fights will pop up over nothing and be sure you can say "We're fighting because we miss each other, not because we're not going to work out." And for goodness sakes, believe in your relationship! Constantly saying that it's not going to work out shows that you don't believe in your bond, and that can lead to cracks where there are none. And remember, he's not in the military, he's not halfway around the world in harm's way every day. It could be a lot worse.
bosworthfan bosworthfan 6 years
Thank you!! All of your tips and reassurances are very nice. They make me feel better that this can work out in the end. Pillowchats--I love your link! Thank you all so very much for sharing and congrats on your own successes with long distance. :D
pillowchats pillowchats 6 years
LDR in general makes you love each other for who you are and not the whole sexual attractiveness business. To keep things exciting, just plan trips to see each other and when you see each other, devote time and energy to make is special. Don't do mundane things like laundry together. Go picnic in the park, cook dinner together - date things. Don't give up on LD. I was in one and now we are in the same city and going strong. 2 of my friends (1 Australia and NYC and another Hong Kong and NYC) and they made it work and are together now after 2 and 4 years in different cities. It's just a matter of how much you want it to work. LDRs have a bad rep and don't fall victim to it.
schnuppi schnuppi 6 years
Been there, done that ;) My husband is in the military and we basically deal with 15 month deployments with two weeks of R&R in between. So try to talk as much as you can especially about your "boring" everyday activities. I saw that with some other relationships when the wifes didn't want to bore their husbands with blah blah blah and than the guys come back to someone who's almost a stranger. It sometimes has that "So, what have you been up to the last year" feel to it. So really make sure that your bf is still a big part of your day-to-day life, focus on the future, and hang in there. On the bright site: If you can make it through a seperation like that you know your relationship is strong!
soulsearcher83 soulsearcher83 6 years
A year really isn't very long in the long scheme of things. Is he going to move there when he is done with school? Just see eachother as much as you can on holidays and investing in the camera for skype is a good idea.
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