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Ms. Steve Carell

Dear Sugar
I'm an intelligent, funny and cute 23 year old girl. I'm a little heavy but I happen to like my curves. I am also a virgin. I made the decision to wait in high school. I didn't really have a serious boyfriend in college and nothing happened then either. I'm currently in graduate school and I'm a little anxious about turning into a Steve Carell character. My friends are all pretty experienced and I sometimes feel a little awkward when sex conversations come up. They are awesome friends and they're always trying to set me up but I am really picky. I feel like I'm at a point where I don't think it will happen anytime soon - I'm painfully shy and I don't really know how to approach guys. It's funny because I have a really bad habit of thinking that any cute guy who approaches me is doing it as a joke. I push them away before they can actually reject me. Single Virgin

Dear Single Virgin
Why do you think that if a cute guy talks to you it's a joke? If you're a cute, funny and intelligent girl, I am sure THOSE are the reasons why he's talking to you! Sex appeal has everything in the world to do with confidence. If you've got the right attitude, it's going to show. Start dating a little bit if being a virgin is of so much concern to you. Use your sex appeal girl, and flirt! See what kinds of sparks fly. It seems like you are being shy and reserved but what you really want is to meet someone - only you can change that. There are lots of opinions out there about losing your virginity. All I can tell you is that it's an experience that only happens once, so treasure it and relish in it, but you don't have to treat it with such magnitude at this point that it will scare you off from dating. Sex will feel like a natural next step when you meet the right person. Whether it's love or not - if you like each other, respect each other and want to take your relationship to the next physical level and you feel like he's considerate and compassionate, I'd say go for it. But something you absolutely must take seriously is using protection. If all of this relationship stuff is too much for you and you want me to tell you to have a one night stand, I won't. I think unless it's with your best guy friend (which I don't recommend because sex always changes things in a relationship), you'll regret sharing your first time with just some stranger at the corner table who bought you a Chardonnay.

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