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Group Therapy: Do Three Lovers Make a Party or a Crowd?

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Recently I have put myself in a really bad situation. I'm not involved with just one person, I'm involved with three men.  We can call them Al, Bob, and Cris.

I'm more romantically involved with Al and he is more my type, but Bob and Cris I'm more sexually attracted to. Al does not know about Bob or Cris, but Bob and Cris know about each other.


Bob really likes me a lot and gets so upset that I'm involved with Al and Cris, but I'm not serious with him. I don't know if it's a good thing that I continue doing this but at the same time I feel I'm young and I'm having fun.

In a way I would love to be in a committed relationship but I'm a little scared to. Should I take this leap of faith and try a relationship, just have fun, or let them all go? 

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 6 years
Please lighten up GTCB. She's just dating and trying to figure out how to go about it. You have a right to despise anyone you want. But guys like you make it harder for other guys to find fun chicks who aren't ashamed of enjoying a no strings arrangement.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
GTCB, whoa! I think you may have the case of double standards. Check yourself, stat.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I agree 100% with kimmieb. You probably aren't ready, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you need to be up front about it with all of your partners.
GTCB GTCB 6 years
Guys (at least guys like me) despise girls like you. This crap may have made good TV on SATC, but get real. I'm shocked that you've not been dumped by any of them - Bob doesn't seem to have much self-respect. Of course, you're probably all pretty young and don't have much of a clue about things yet.
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 6 years
If you're not really sure if you're ready to be in a committed relationship, you probably won't be able to commit and that's not fair to the person you are trying to be in a realtionship with. If you want to have fun, then don't worry about committing but make sure that you are up front and honest with all of your partners so that they can make informed decisions about whether or not they want to be with you.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 6 years
It sounds like none of them are the right guy, and I agree that it's wrong to keep the first in the dark while the other two know what's up. I'd get rid of all three of them and start over.
BiWife BiWife 6 years
You need to let "Al" know about the other guys. If the guys are ok with continuing to see/sleep with you after they're informed of what kind of relationship it will be, then keep all 3 of them. However, if they're not ok with sharing you, you need to respect them enough to not lie to them and make them think you're exclusive with them. If you aren't ready to settle down, don't! Once do you commit to someone, you want to mean it, so don't do it until you've found someone that is everything you want.
GregS GregS 6 years
You're not emotionally mature enough to enter into a "committed relationship".
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