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My Best Friend Changed

Sunday Confessional: My Best Friend Changed

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I've known my best friend for almost eight years now. We used to be incredibly close and I could confide in her completely. But once high school ended, she moved to go to a school two hours away. We both worked so seeing each other became difficult at times. All of this, I could accept, but then she started changing. And I realized that I just can't stand the person she is now.

She hates my fiancé and I really can't figure out why. She says that he's rude, an idiot, that he's too clingy, etc. But when I asked her why she felt this way, the reasons were trivial and really unfounded. She purposely puts him down on Facebook all the time and then rants how he gets too dramatic about it when he calls her out on it. We had one post and she called him something along the lines of an idiot. Then called me to say he was too sensitive and she was only quoting some TV show and he should've known it.


Keep reading to hear the rest of this confession and to offer your advice.

All in all, I'm tired of her berating me about him, especially when he goes out of his way to get along with her because he knows that I hate them not getting along. We've talked about it but she never sees how she's doing anything wrong. Ever.

Every time we talk, she's always explaining how hard life is for her. I always let her vent about her frustrations. But everyone else's problems are minimal and stupid and they (including me) have no right to complain about life. She can put people down for any reason, but if I have a problem with someone, I'm being ignorant. Like a mutual acquaintance of ours decided to be rude via Facebook and I called him out on it. He didn't like what I had to say so he took me off his friends list. He kept writing the argument to me so I blocked him. He went to my best friend complaining and saying this I didn't even say to him.

I'm tired of my ideas being stupid. I'm tired of it always being my fault we don't see each other as often. I'm tired of being looked down upon. I don't remember her being this way. But according to my other friends and family, this is how she's always been. We have moments where it's like old times and I cherish those moments... but suddenly I don't feel the need to talk to her as much. I dread our messages because it's usually some sort of disagreement. I just don't know what to do. My fiancé and I are about to have our first child. And I've always wanted her to be there and be part of my child's life. Now that it's coming to it, I don't know if I want to deal with her or have her having any influence on my baby. I just don't know how to handle the situation. Talking with her now is almost impossible, even though I want to talk about it, it'll end up being all my fault and me being selfish for whatever reasoning.

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Join The Conversation
bisou002 bisou002 5 years
It sounds like she's immature and jealous. And all of this Facebook posting nonsense? Put a stop to that right now. You're adults, this is ridiculous. I swear, the more time someone spends on Facebook, the fewer actual social skills they seem to have.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 5 years
I agree with the first poster. By insulting your fiance, she has not only insulted him, but you as well and I think the best thing would be for you to stand up and tell her how the thing she says really are hurtful and are totally uncalled for. Tell it like it is. You have to some boundaries for yourself and your new family here. I am sorry things have turned out the way they did. But I agree, you've matured and she's still stuck in the past...which is probably where this relationship belongs.
juicebox07 juicebox07 5 years
It really doesn't matter how long you've been friends. Friendships are very similar to relationships. Sometimes they just don't work out. You're starting a family now, and that's your first priority. It's possible she could be jealous. I agree with testadura67 though. It doesn't sound like she's grown up yet. I really can't tolerate someone who thinks their problems are far greater than anyone else.
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
You grew up, and she hasn't yet. It's that simple. Perhaps under a different set of circumstances you could hold on and wait for her to catch up, but you're starting a family now, and you're responsible for them, not her. Next time she lays into your fiance, make it a point to tell her that's your family she's talking about, and if she continues to treat them this way, she can lose your number. It sucks, and it's hard, but part of growing up is growing out of old relationships. Relationships only last when people grow together and it doesn't sound like she has much interest in that. It sounds like she's resentful that you're growing up and leaving her behind so she's lashing out at the life you're growing into. A real friend would be happy for you and find a way to fit into your new life instead of try to hold you back from it.
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