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My Boyfriend's Buddy Is A Jerk

My Boyfriend's Buddy Is A Jerk

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend's best friend constantly butts into our relationship. It drives me crazy because it's none of his business. I don't know what to do because I can't stand him - but I know this is going to be a losing battle. Can I seriously ask my boyfriend to dump his best friend for me? Livid Liv

To see DEARSUGAR'S answer

Dear Livid Liv
There eventually does come a time in every man's life where he chooses his love over his friends. But - he's got to be ready to do that or else he's going to hate you for trying to come in between his friendships. Be patient, and try your best to be nice to the friend because you will only come out looking like a lady in the end.

Do as much damage control as you can to make you and your boyfriend's life easier (keep in mind, this can't be fun for him either). Don't start arguments with the friend, and try your best not to be sarcastic. Let him know that he can't walk all over you, but try and defend yourself without being a grade A bit*h.

All you can do is manage your own behavior. For example, limit the amount of time you have to spend with him and when you are together, try and ask questions and show an interest in him - even if you have to fake it. Talk less and listen more.

I'll bet that he just feels threatened by you and in his own way he's testing his friend. When "one of the guys" gets a girlfriend they don't like it because they are losing another wing man and drinking buddy.

If all else fails, use everything you've got to set him up with the hot waitress at the bar. It's hard to hate a woman who helps you get laid.

heatherp heatherp 11 years
good advice - just don't bad mouth him.
My-Opinion My-Opinion 11 years
This is a classic right happens with every guy in every relationship* If you're his "truelove" he'll tell his best friend to grow up and back off..if not..........well then take off hun cause it aint gonna get any better*
yayita yayita 11 years
Hmmmmm. I would tell my BF, you should be able to tell your BF anything and he should undestand too.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 11 years
Good advice, Dear. I was going to say the same thing. Only I don't know if I'd be able to keep from telling my BF. If the friend became too much to handle, I'd just nicely ask my boyfriend if he could ask his friend if he could not ask not butt in to their relationship. That way you're nto asking him to give up his friendship.
Adriana42 Adriana42 11 years
oh i hate when that happens..i dated a guy and disliked his best friend so i had to dump him.
lickety-split lickety-split 11 years
easy one; get the jerk a hot piece of ass of his own and he will quickly forget allllllll about your friend and you. it would be best if this person lived about an hour away :)
haze1nut haze1nut 11 years
annoying bestfriends.......argh i feel ya. okay, my advice is talk to your man about it. if he gives you a symphathetic ear and will talk to his bud about the problem then give his best friend another chance (learn to compromise). you can eventually get used to it as you would an itch, like you'll only feel it if you think about it too much. but if your man decides to give you the cold shoulder in response to your 'not clicking' with his best bud...then i say dump his butt! that's just saying he's gonna let his best friend be an A$$ to you! in my opinion, there's no point in sticking around with a guy who doesn't love his woman enough to straighten out his friend.
t0xxic t0xxic 11 years
lol Good advice. I was just gonna say try ur best to suck it up. At least till u get a ring on ur finger and have the say to control ur BF which prolly isnt the best advice lol
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