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My Boyfriend Had A Vasectomy and I Want Kids

Dear Sugar
I am currently in an extremely loving relationship with an older man. I am 26 and he is 45 years old. He is divorced and has two children with a crazy ex wife. We have been together for almost a year now and have basically been living together for the past ten months.

Everything between us is more amazing than I could have ever imaged but there is one major problem...he had a vasectomy and I want kids. We have both been very open about our future and I am not shy addressing my desire for my own children.

I know dating someone older, and with their own kids, is a gamble for someone younger but you can't help who you fall in love with. He loves me and wants to spend his life with me, so do you think it is out of the question to ask him to reverse his vasectomy? Is that even possible to do? Impregnate Me Irene

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Impregnate Me Irene
If you want children with this man, it is not out of the question to ask him to reverse his vasectomy. I understand your desire for bearing your own children with the man that you love and you are fortunate to have options in order to make your dream a reality.

Have you talked about the possibility of having children together or is he just aware that you want your own one day? Before you bring this idea to the table, make sure you do your research. If you are both on the same page about your future, ask away, but be aware this is not an overnight transformation.

Vasectomy reversal surgery is quite common and if you are in the hands of the right doctor, the surgery can be very successful, although it can cost upwards of $20,000. If sperm is not presented in the semen after six months of the surgery, the vasectomy reversal surgery is considered a failure.

Men have the option of having a second surgery, but you could also try a nonsurgical approach. Sperm can be extracted straight from the man's testicles or the epididymis then followed up by Sperm Injection (ICSI) and In Vitro. As you can see, the measures one has to take are not small, but they can be done. If you are both on board for a trial and error period to make another life, I wish you luck.

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