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My Boyfriend and I Don't Talk Enough

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend and I Only Talk on Weekends

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So I've been seeing this guy for about two months and things are going pretty well, and it definitely seems like we are headed toward a serious direction because that is something we are both looking for in our life right now. He's even mentioned about wanting to settle down and start a family. It's been two years since I've been with someone, and for him it's over two years, too. I'm 24 and he is 34. He works a lot of hours because he is high up there in the corporate world. One thing that has been bothering me is we don't communicate during the week, only on the weekends. Sometimes I will send him random texts about food or jokes but we don't get into a conversation about it. I know he works long hours, sometimes 10-12 hours a day. I'm not asking him to talk to me everyday. We don't have to talk everyday. It would be nice of him to text me or have a short conversation with me sometimes just for me to know that he hasn't forgotten about me.

In my past relationships and with the guys I casually dated, we talked or texted daily. Sometimes it was not everyday, but just enough to know that we are thinking about each other and are curious about what we are both doing.


So, I mean am I asking for too much? I'm not a clingy person. I have a full-time job and activities after work, so I wouldn't want to lounge around and talk on the phone everyday like I used to. Everything is going great so far and I'm really happy but this is bugging me! How should I bring this up?

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Join The Conversation
ShannonRiddle ShannonRiddle 5 years
Right I have had the same problem with my bf before so what I did was asked advice from this girl who gave great advice and it really helped me. here is here info... she is always up for chats and gives great advice...she helped me become confident in myself :) xxxx
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
Yeah, I don't think it's age difference. 34 is plenty young enough to understand and use text messaging. Have you guys ever made any effort to see eachother during the week? I think he may not see you as a potentially serious partner if he's saving your time strictly for the weekends.
wolfpackgal wolfpackgal 5 years
If a guy wants to be with you, he will make time for you.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
It seems he may just not really be that into you. My boyfriend when we first got together was working 14-16 hour days and still took the time every night to call me before bed- no long conversations but still making sure that I knew he was thinking about me. He should be making more of an effort, but it wouldn't hurt you to ask him to call you at night. Maybe stop the texting and try to call him when you know he will be home and not sleeping, tell him you like to hear from him and see if he picks up the habit. If he doesn't, move on. Most guys who really like a girl will want to talk to them every day, especially when they can't see each other.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
I also think the age difference is a factor here. You need to have random text communications about unimportant things to feel connected. He probably sees texting as a quick way to send information, and anything else is a pointless waste of time. I personally loathe to have "conversations" by texting....if I have more than 5 messages in a chat, I pick up the phone to call the person. Maybe he is like that. You can talk to him about your needing text communication, but I wouldn't hold your breath about that or make it a big issue. I also agree though that he may not be as interested in you as you are in him. It has only been 2 months. Don't read too much into a general comment from a guy about his wanting to settle down. Most of them will say this at some point, and until he says he wants to do it with you, I would chill a bit. In my opinion, even if he does text you, it doesn't mean anything....even married guys text their unsuspecting girlfriends. It's the effort he makes for you outside of his smart phone that really counts, and only you can figure out if he gives you enough.
pico1414 pico1414 5 years
You are not asking too much at all but he may not understand. It may be best to go right out and tell him how you have been feeling. If you ask hime straight out to keep contact with you during the week even if it is just a text or two and he cannot manage that he is probably not that interested. Yes he may forget sometimes but if he cannot send one text during the week or respond more to the texts you send him then you may want to rethink the relationship.
chibros chibros 5 years
Its not like as if you're asking for too much but age difference could contribute to this. In the sense that you both sees things from different direction. Him thinking he does it right, while you thinks not. You can as well choose to give it more time and see what happens. Set a direct conversation topic, maybe he doesn't get the flow of getting into a conversation when using jokes. He wants to settle down, with you or just what he wants? The most important thing is that you are happy and everything is going great. Don't let this thing bother you for now.
Raynne413 Raynne413 5 years
There was one guy I dated that we only talked on the weekends and saw each other on the weekends. Other than that, we would text or email during the week. The one thing I learned very quickly is that it showed he wasn't all that interested in me. I was fun when he had the time, but he wasn't REALLY into me the way I wanted him to be.
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