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My Husband Already Wants to Separate

"He Wants to Separate After Six Months of Marriage"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My husband I were married six months ago after dating a month, which I know is where we went wrong. But we're married now. I love him and he is my very best friend, but I nag and complain and I know I do it way too much. This weekend we went out and got way too drunk and I acted like a complete fool and I feel horrible that I embarassed him so badly. Today he came home from work and basically said he doesn't know if we can work things out and said if we stay together he knows we will both be unhappy. I do not want to separate or get a divorce and I even scheduled an appointment for a counselor tomorrow! What do I do to show him I love him and to save our marriage?!!!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Sherrilee Sherrilee 5 years
I've been married for 20 years and had to learn to think before I talk.  I think a lot of things but know not to say them and I admit sometimes I do.  Marriage is a learning process. I'm still learning.  My partner and I are still changing.  However that's hope for you.  You and your husband can change.  As you change your husband probably will be.  A lady once said she found out in a marriage she could get more withhoney than vinegar in her marriage.  She decided to be nice and things change.  However not nice to the point of letting somebody step all over you.  Good luck.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
Uh... this situation sounds like a complete train wreck.  There's no lasting harm in you both admitting you're wrong and annulling the whole thing.  
steph1234 steph1234 5 years
The below advice is coming from someone who has been married for over 10 years: Talk it out with him. Ask him specific questions such as why do you think we will both be unhappy, how can we move forward from this, etc. Have open conversations with him...and go into it allowing him to talk openly without nagging or disputing what he says. Just listen to him. Right now it sounds like, both of your emotions are still high from the indident over the weekend. It's good that you're going to see a counselor, I think. It shows you take your marriage seriously that you don't want to divorce. Even though you don't explain what you did to embarrass him, do both of yourselves a favor and skip the party scene (getting drunk while going out, etc.) is not conducive for a healthy marriage. Also, please remember that you guys are only 6 months into your marriage. You both have a lifetime of mistakes to make and forgiveness must be exercised within marriage in order to overcome those mistakes and make the best out of it. Love and respect one another...learn to keep your mouth shut at times and let go of the small stuff. You guys can get past this, but you must learn that this is a work in progress...your marriage will not be perfect and you must work at it. Good luck to you!
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
That's wonderful that you have found a therapist. He or she will help you with the issues Henna mentioned above. All marriages require adjustments, and compromises, and there is so much to learn about living with and loving another human being for the rest of your life. My advice would be to be 100% honest with the counselor and encourage your husband to do the same. He or she will be better able to help you if you don't hold back and are open to suggestions. Good luck.
henna-red henna-red 5 years
You've taken the most important step, you've sought professional help. A therapist can help you see what to change and how to change the behaviors that are sabotaging your relationship. I hope your husband will agree to attend with you, because it's rarely just the one partner's issue that's messing things up. With such a small amount of time together, you two haven't learned how to fight, how to coexist, how to give each other the room you each need, the support you both need, each from the other. I wish the best of luck learning these skills, hopefully together, and the time to put them into practice.
Aquadave Aquadave 5 years
a good dinner, a lot of I'm sorry, and a really good blow job
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