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My Husband's Sibling Bond Makes Me Insecure

My Husband's Sibling Bond Makes Me Insecure

Dear Sugar
My husband and his sister have been best friends ever since they can remember. She is beautiful, successful, smart, and every one's darling. She and my husband hang out often, and I hate to say it, but I get a little bit jealous whenever they are together.

Part of my insecurity stems from the fact that another brother of my husband's compares his wife with this sister, and wishes his wife were more like her. My husband has told me time and again that I am the most important person in his life, but this hasn't stopped my jealousy of his sister. Help! How can I think and behave rationally before I tear my marriage apart? Freaking Out Francesca

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Freaking out Francesca
Unless your husband and his sister are inappropriately close, a.k.a. Angelina and her brother, getting in between this relationship could create a lot of family tension. Although their closeness makes you insecure, you need to trust your husband when he says you are his number one priority.

The relationship he has with her is obviously very different than the one he has with you so try working on accepting his love and admiration for her. Are you close with his sister as well? Perhaps you should ask your husband if he can start including you more when they spend time together so you can also develop a deeper friendship with her.

Try to let your brother in law's comments roll off your shoulders. All relationships are different so just because he wishes his wife was more like his sister doesn't mean that your husband feels that way too. It sounds as though your husband is not giving you any reason to doubt your relationship so have faith in him. He seems to love you just the way you are!

Join The Conversation
bluedreams bluedreams 10 years
It's so sad that your allowing your personal insecurities to get the best of you, it's not like your boyfriend wants to date his sister. People don't choose their siblings, but they do choose their partners. What good is coming out of this silly jealousy of yours? Perhaps you should consider getting to know your boyfriend's sister better, you might discover that she is someone you could be friends with.
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
Um, why wouldn't they be close? They shared the same life experiences for, oh, up to 18 years probably and have known each other all their lives. I have one sibling. I'm not incredibly close to him but there are just certain things that we have our own code and we get each other in spite of being so different. Also, if he treats his sister well, he treats you well. You should be thankful, not jealous. The fact that your brother-in-law is in a bad relationship shouldn't make you on guard. Open up and maybe you'll realize that you adore her as well. Some people are just gregarious. They drive me crazy at first, but then I usually realize that they are really awesome people which is why people love them. Fortunately, they make up a very small percentage of the population so they are the freaks. Don't feel bad for not being perfect. I'm sure your husband isn't either and he's not expecting you to be this way.
happyheather happyheather 10 years
Is the sister in a relationship of her own? If not, perhaps her brothers feel badly or feel protective of her. I bet when she gets married or into a relationship, things will change.
lifer_refil lifer_refil 10 years
Hehe. "Kiss" by Prince came on my player as I was reading this.
tina_marie tina_marie 10 years
I completely understand this issue. I am an only child and I totally don't get the way my husband and his sisters are close. I hate to think that sometimes I too get jealous because that is just crazy, but it still... I just don't understand their bond. Since I know I am crazy for feeling this way, I just sit back and try be understanding. Hang in there
bluejeanie bluejeanie 10 years
i think as long as there's no inappropriate cuddling or sibling tongue kissing it's probably fine.
aembry396 aembry396 10 years
They always say, "How a man treats his mother and sisters is how he will end up treating you." So at least Fran has that going for her :-)
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