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My Roommate Brings Random Guys Home

"Roommate Brings Random Guys Home"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

It's 2:30 in the morning on Monday night and my roommate (who is also one of my closest friends) just brought a random guy home. They were loud coming in (and are currently having sex which I can hear through the walls) and she woke up myself and another roommate. I can only assume the other 2 roommates heard her as well since we have thin walls. We ALL have class tomorrow morning, bright and early. This is a bit of a vent, but also I need advice. She's done this before but never on a weeknight, and we (the rest of the roommates) have never fully condoned it, but we're all good friends and have no major problems with her bringing guys home. However, she's always loud, she rarely plays music (and even when she does it doesn't cover up the noise), and it's almost always random guys we don't know at all that she's bringing in to our house. That makes me nervous, for us and for her. HELP?!

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hilberkl hilberkl 5 years
You have a right to be worried and a right to make demands. These men are coming into your house, not just her bedroom. I agree that it is up to her who she sleeps with, but she should have respect for you. You guys need to have some ground rules. And put a lock on your bedroom door!
vevetta vevetta 5 years
whatever happens in her room is in her own rights. If she wants to bring strangers to her bed is really up to her and none of the roommates should demand anything from it, so I guess that's something you'd have to accept. The problem I see here is the noise, this is when is no longer just 'in her room' and is actually invading your space. That is something you have the rights to ask for it to be different. You should - of course- talk to her about nice and don't act imposing, make sure you tell her nicely how is it affect you. On the other hand if you'd like to feel more comfortable about strangers in the place just set up some rules between all of you. strangers can only go into the rooms of the person inviting, they are not allowed to touch anything from the fridge, if something gets lost during someone's visit the roommate who brought it would have to take responsabilities for it. house rules are always the most effective. Good Luck!
henna-red henna-red 5 years
I agree with the ladies here, that it's time to talk to your roomate about the noise. I've also had roomates/neihbors who were totaly rude about the noise and it's sooooo maddening. I also have to agree about the random guys being not your business. That's one of the issues with having roomates, you're trusting yourself to their judgement, and it can be unerving to discover that a friend has a behavior that makes your nervous. Bring up your concern, lock your door, and if things don't improve, the only legal option you have is to move, or find a new roomate. good luck
lcrox07 lcrox07 5 years
It's really inconsiderate and this is why I avoid having roomies. lol. I agree with Missmaryb. Have a house meeting and set up some rules. You can start with no guys over late at night on weekdays. Use school as the excuse. It's only fair.
anon88 anon88 5 years
Ive had roommates like this before. the best thing to do is just to ask her to be more courteous on school nights. Its not really your business if shes sleeping with random guys. It is your business that shes disrupting your sleep on school nights. So just ask her to respect that you all have class, and need sleep, and ask her to be more courteous in the future.
Hello-Kitty-Lover Hello-Kitty-Lover 5 years
HI! I have never really experienced that first hand before but has always heard my friends talk about it. My roommate almost always has her boyfriend over, it makes me really uncomfortable. But they are being courteous and quiet if they were doing anything. So I would suggest you talk to her..nicely let her understand your situation. If that does not help then lock ur door at night and buy good ear plugs. RMB to lock the door coz u'll never know if the guy would like to visit your room as well......!!
kitty-Witty kitty-Witty 5 years
as she is your friend then talk to her . discussing is simply the best idea to get out of this situation. make her understand with your rest of the room mates together :) good luck :)
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I had a roommate who did the same thing...only difference is, she was doing it in a bed about 5 feet from mine! So I definitely understand your frustration. I don't think it would be a bad idea to all sit down and discuss the problem. Stress how much you all like her but that you're worried about her health and your own academic success. Maybe she doesn't even realize you all hear her? Discuss options. She could go to the guys' place, or she could agree to only have guys over on weekends, or not past a certain hour, etc. Hopefully she'll be understanding and willing to change her habits. Good luck.
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