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My boyfriend Can't Get It Up

My boyfriend Can't Get It Up

Dear Sugar
I have a very embarrassing problem regarding my boyfriend. We have been in a bit of a dry spell lately because he can't seem to get it up! This problem practically happened overnight and I am very concerned; he is only 23 years old.

I am worried that my boyfriend has stopped desiring me. He always tells me how beautiful I am and how attracted to me he is. I don't know what it could be. Is he cheating on me or could he have some kind of heath problem? Chastised Chastity

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Chastised Chastity
I am sorry you and your boyfriend are struggling with this problem. Erectile dysfunction is more common than you would think and most of the time has nothing to do with how attracted a man is to a woman. As many as 15 million men in America are affected by this, however, it still seems to be rather taboo since it's so embarrassing.

How often is this happening to your boyfriend? If this has happened once or twice, I would not be worried as anxiety and nervousness can play a big part in a man's arousal. If it's been happening frequently, maybe you can suggest that he see his doctor or visit a free clinic with you.

There are several factors that could be playing a part in your boyfriend's problem. Does he smoke, take drugs, is he diabetic or is he on any medication? Alcoholism can cause damage to the testicles and affect your level of testosterone and cigarette smoke is proven to lower the amount of blood flow to the penis therefore making it difficult to become erect. Many prescription drugs could also have similar or more severe sexually related side effects.

As a first try, I would just completely walk away from the subject as the stress could be causing performance anxiety which might be making the problem worse. Try to be understanding, as you would only hope he would be if the problem were reversed. If he still can't seem to get an erection then I would have him see his doctor. Hang in there and good luck.

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