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New Zodiac Signs

Did Your Zodiac Sign Change?

I warned last week you might not be reading the right horoscope — it was in the stars! Because the Earth has shifted over the 2,500 years since astrology was created, just about everyone isn't the sign they thought.

Are you going crazy? This Washington Post writer who wrote a sarcastic (I think) open letter to the Minnesota Planetarium Society — the zodiac tyrant behind this "correction" — is.

"Don't you realize how disruptive this is? . . . This is how I organize my life! I voted for McCain because he was a Virgo and they are supposed to be steady and reliable and put all their energy into their children. Now I find out he's a Leo. Leos are, frankly, jerks! . . . I have to go ponder my new flaws now and take some more job quizzes."

Even worse, the Minnesota Planetarium Society says there is a whole new sign. If you were born between Nov. 29 and Dec. 17, you're now an Ophiuchus — that's a serpent. Find out your new sign and why you shouldn't take this forecast too seriously below.

  • Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
  • Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
  • Pisces: March 11-April 18
  • Aries: April 18-May 13
  • Taurus: May 13-June 21
  • Gemini: June 21-July 20
  • Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
  • Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
  • Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
  • Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
  • Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
  • Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
  • Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

Are you going to read your new or old horoscope now? Both? Not so fast! If anyone knows the Earth moves, it's astrologists, and they say they've been taking it into account forever. "It is the planets moving across the backdrop of the stars which influence our lives," says Darkstar Astrology, "not the planets moving through imagined 30 degree divisions on a piece of paper."

Are we all better?

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