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Is It OK to Go to Bed Angry?

I recently had a fight with my boyfriend about something so stupid, but since we're both stubborn, we couldn't come to an agreement, so we both went to bed angry. As I was lying in bed, trying to forget about it all, I kept hearing a little voice in the back of my mind that said, "Never go to bed angry."

What do you think? Is it a bad thing to go to bed mad? Or do you think there's some benefit to sleeping on it, so you can work things out the next day with a fresh mind?

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cloeyxd cloeyxd 9 years
It's only a bad thing if you're not likely to speak to the person again the next day... It's not nice to leave something unresolved for a long time.
onesong onesong 9 years
we always say i love you, but heck yes we go to bed angry. it's never worth carrying a fight into the wee hours of the morning--in my experience, it doesn't get the issue resolved. tabling the problem for the night and reapproaching it the next day is always a safer and saner bet. just make sure you remind each other you love each other and you're golden.
JessBear JessBear 9 years
The "don't go to be angry, because you might never wake up" thing could be applied to anything. Don't go to work angry because you might not make it home. Don't take a walk to calm down because you might not come back. Don't take a shower angry because you might slip and fall and never get up. I'm not saying the philosophy is stupid, I'm just saying- every person should draw their own line. Don't live your relationship fearing what could happen, but also don't take for granted what you have. As for me? Usually just thinking "what if one of us never wakes up?" is enough to make me say I'm sorry.
retrodiva retrodiva 9 years
I was always told to not go to bed angry as well, but my husband doesn't live by that rule. So even if I wanted to sort it out before bed, he'd probably be snoring while I was still having issues. I've learned to just let it go and review the situation in the morning. If I'm super angry, though, going to sleep is not an option. It's rare that I'm that angry, though.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 9 years
ugh my ex lived by the "don't go to bed angry" motto and it drove me NUTS because nothing resolved quickly and it would be like 4 in the morning and he'd still be going at it and by that point I'd be angry that I'm not sleeping and I have work in the morning, more than anything else. I am a big proponent of sleeping it off and cooling down, the only problem is that if the next morning it still bugs one of you and you don't say anything and it never gets resolved
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
When my boyfriend goes to bed angry he'll wake up angry!! So I have to wait for him to get over it himself or whatever. I hate going to bed angry though. REALLY hate it.
plasticapple plasticapple 9 years
I hate going to bed angry too. I can't sleep and when I do finally fall asleep I have bad dreams. So I would much rather go to bed happy. Fortunately by man and I have never had that serious of a fight.
lily3484 lily3484 9 years
I really think it depends on the individual and the couple. Personally, I hate to go to bed angry. Actually, I cant go to bed angry, I toss and turn and get no sleep when an arguement is on my mind. My boyfriend on the other hand, can fall asleep no problem. I usually have to wake him to talk about it. The last thing you want to hear when you are awake and mad, is the person next to you snoring and sleeping soundly. Hey, if you can make it work..without discussing it right away then go for it. Otherwise, get it out in the open and sleep soundly. zzzz..
emalove emalove 9 years
I try not to...I hate it. I usually cry myself to sleep or toss and turn all night. It's definitely better to make amends beforehand.
hexidecimalhack hexidecimalhack 9 years
If you need cool-down time, it is more than okay!!! If you get angrier the longer it goes un-talked about, then it isn't. It's all personal preference, I guess. I always need some cool down time, whereas my husband wants to discuss everything right away. It makes things a little more difficult!
blytheann blytheann 9 years
When we fight, I need space to cool off because my temper tends to get me overworked and say things I know are mean and hurtful to him. Sleeping on it is okay as long as you resolve it as soon as possible. Unfortunately, in todays world it's impossible to stay up to resolve issues until the break of dawn. Sleeping on it allows me at least to get rid of the extra superficial feelings and focus on what was really behind the anger. Dan on the other hand likes to take care of issues before we go to bed. But for me, it's always worked better to sleep on it than fight it out through the night!
Altal Altal 9 years
You're not promised tomorrow. I try to never go to bed angry, I always try to at least say I love you, or I'm sorry.
books-and-shoes books-and-shoes 9 years
Totally depends on the person.
Marci Marci 9 years
I don't know if it always makes sense to keep at it just so you don't go to bed angry. Sometimes we need a little break and see things from a fresher perspective the next day. It just depends on the issue and how strong of a disagreement it is.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
There's a saying... "Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight." I can't sleep after a fight so I guess I'm in the "don't go to bed angry" boat.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
facin8me we have a code word too, its Zoidberg, from futurama.
LaserEM LaserEM 9 years
Sometimes it's better to cool off and take the time to analyze everything that's been said. Taking the argument up the next morning will allow both parties to determine whether or not the fight is even worth it. Even if my bf and I go to bed angry, we'll eventually snuggle up in the night; waking up in his arms makes me realize what's really important in my life and makes me more determined to find a resolution or compromise.
1QTPIE 1QTPIE 9 years
No I don't think it's a good idea to go to bed angry. Anyhow when ever my husband and I lay down after arguing we still tell each other, "I love you, Good night, etc..." Along with some hugs and kisses. I guess he's just like me. After a few minutes of just laying there without speaking, thinking how stupid our fight was, we eventually turn to each other talking it out with the kisses here and there. Then comes the make up sex and were both sound asleep after.
bbkf bbkf 9 years
I think it's actually a good idea to go to bed early. I see things differently when I'm not exhausted and have had time to cool off. Plus, morning make-up sex is the best!
facin8me facin8me 9 years
Most of the fights that my husband and I have are precipitated by one of us being really overtired or hungry. So sometimes we go to bed angry because our fight is more from being tired than any kind of real issue, so then we just drop it and we're fine in the morning. We at one point realized that 99% of our fights were caused by being tired or hungry. Sometimes when you're in the middle of that kind of thing you don't realize it, so we have a safe word- kabuki- that we say if one of us realizes that we're cranky or the other person is cranky and that we're really fighting over nothing.
Liss1 Liss1 9 years
I don't like to go to bed angry. When my mom was young she got into a fight with her cousin and she told him she hated him, they went to bed and he never woke up the next morning, he died in his sleep. That is something i think of everytime i am mad at my husband, i would never tell him i hate him but i still want to make sure that we are not angry with each other when we go to sleep.
bettyboutique bettyboutique 9 years
I agree with sleeping on it as long as you both know that it will be resolved tomorrow and one of you isnt sleepin on the couch cause i definitely couldn't fall asleep if that were the case.
saranightly saranightly 9 years
Sometimes, on weekends, when we've both been partying, we'll get in stupid arguments and we'll go to bed annoyed with each other, but everything is fine when we wake up! Otherwise, we don't usually argue about anything signifigant enough to go to bed angry.
lizzie_ttu lizzie_ttu 9 years
I, personally, can't fall asleep with issues. I need everything to be resolved or I'll stay awake all night not abe to get any shut eye!
carito8 carito8 9 years
Well is not that I think is good or bad, but I just can't fall sleep if I'm angry so no matter what I need to resolve the problem before we go to bed otherwise I would wake up feeling worse. And is the same for my husband, is just they way we are. ;)
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