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Is It Okay to Take My Best Friend on Vacation Instead of My Boyfriend?

You Asked: Who Should I Take on My Vacation?

Dear Sugar,

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we are really serious about each other. We've taken multiple vacations together in the past. My family just gave me a vacation as a present, so I thought it would be fun to have some girly time instead and take a friend. Is it wrong to go on vacation without my boyfriend? I'm worried he'll feel like I'm choosing my friend over him.
— Stuck in the Middle Milly

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Stuck in the Middle Milly,

There is nothing better than girl time so if you want to share your vacation with one of your besties, I say go for it! Be up front with your boyfriend — tell him that although you'd love nothing more then to lay poolside with him, you're really craving some girly time. Even though this is your decision to make, I'd take the sensitive route when you talk to him just in case his feelings are hurt. Try not to look at this as a choice between your best friend and your boyfriend. They are both equally special to you, just in different ways, so hopefully your boyfriend will be understanding about your needs and who knows, he might even be excited to use the time you're gone to have some much-needed guy time! Have fun.


Join The Conversation
sweetasacid sweetasacid 9 years
I say go for ti you need girl time as much as he needs his monday night football w/ the boys (just figuratively of course...i am so there for football :-P)
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
i'm glad you're not one of those clingy girls who can't move 10ft without their boyfriend. have fun!!!
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
you are choosing a friend over him. he'll get over it . . .
emalove emalove 9 years
I'd talk to him about it and see how he feels...he probably won't mind at all that you want some girl time with your friend. My husband wouldn't mind if I wanted to do a little getaway with my girlfriends...I'd probably miss him though!
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I'm sure he'll understand if you bring it up nicely, like the way Dear suggested... say you do love going on trips on him but you'd like a little girl time. It's just one little trip after all.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Take the friend.
remedios remedios 9 years
This was recently asked from the side of the person not invited along. See this post for some opinions.
Marci Marci 9 years
Girl time is a good thing! I understand your concerns because I'm sure you it's that you don't want to hurt your boyfriends feelings. You'll just have to sit down with him and let him know. He might be a bit disappointed, but I can't imagine him being angry.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
P.S. I think you should go with your girlfriend. It'll be refreshing for everyone.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
If you're worried he will feel you are choosing your friend over him, simply tell him you are not. It's all about communication. You can't leave it in silence and expect everyone involved to know what's in your head. I'm sure if you tell him you'd like a trip with your girlfriend, he'll understand. If not, then there are deeper issues.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Yes, it is OK to go on a vacation with a girlfriend. There is no need to ask your boyfriends opinion it is your trip do what you want with it.
legallyblonde legallyblonde 9 years
I think you should go with your girlfriend, especially since you have gone on multiple vacations with your guy already.
1QTPIE 1QTPIE 9 years
Sure, it's a healty thing to take small vacations alone.... It'll give you time to miss eachother....
TheMissus TheMissus 9 years
I'm married and I take vacations by myself sometimes... So yes, it's okay to go on vacation with just your girl friends.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
This would be a hard situation! I havent' really gone on a BIG vacation with my man yet, so i would take him so we can both have our big vacation together. But, if we have done it multiple times before I would take a girl and I am sure my boyfriend would understand. Plus, he woudln't have to take time off work haha.
blingbling blingbling 9 years
I think taking girl trips is healthy in a relationship. A group of my girlfriends started talking about going away for a long weekend - and it surprised many of us that there were a couple in the group that refused to go without their SOs. Cut the freaking cord! Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that your other relationships should suffer. My husband takes a guy trip every year - to baseball spring training in Ft. Meyers. I have no problem with it, and he's fine with me heading off with my girlfriends if I want to. And that's exactly as it should be. If your BF has a problem with you taking a girl trip then he needs a good talking to.
Eternity Eternity 9 years
Depending on where you are going it shouldn't really be a problem. I ask my boyfriend for his opinion and the only thing he could think to say is "is her friend a guy?" so, since you want to take a girl for some girly time, and your boyfriend hasn't ever seemed worried about your faithfulness, I think you should take your girl and squeeze in as many spa treatments as possible.
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