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One-Sided Friendships

Group Therapy: I Feel Like I Am Putting All the Effort Into a Friendship

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I feel used and unappreciated by my friend. We have been "best" friends for a long time, since we were about twelve (I'm 23 now), and we decided after college that we'd get an apartment together in the city.

It seemed like something that could be really fun, but over time I feel like it's not anymore. Since living together, I feel like I'm the one always bringing things together, she puts no effort into our friendship. She has a boyfriend of three years, and since living together, I feel like I'm only her friend when her boyfriend happens to be busy. When he's around she always blows me off, usually unannounced.

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We used to have fun together, go out, see movies, go shopping, even travel, and since the guy came in, I feel like she only hangs out with me in the apartment to watch TV and that's it. I bring a lot to our friendship, I'll get tickets to concerts and shows, plan outings on weekends, not to mention that I cook and do all the grocery shopping for our apartment.

I feel like I generally share things with her, introducing her to music, TV shows, restaurants, magazines, etc., and I feel like she just takes and takes from me (without any credit of course) and always expects me to do everything. I'm tired of it. And feel like just cutting her off in a way. This sounds terrible, but I've realized how bland she is. I feel like I'm the amusement park for her mind.

I think friends should be always inspiring and learning and having fun together, and this just feels so one-sided. I'm putting too much into the friendship or something, and not only does she not bring anything, but she doesn't even seem to care. Should I bring it up with her? Sometimes I get so irritated with her that I might.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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