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Is Physical or Emotional Chemistry More Important?

For The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka, it's pretty clear one is more important than the other. In the end, the "magic spark" he felt with Vienna was the physical chemistry he just didn't have with Tenley. In this case, the heat of a passionate bond trumps what Jake saw as a more emotional connection.

Obviously, physical attraction is an important part of any romantic relationship, and when it comes naturally, it can lead to a happy, long-lasting bond. Still, what's right for one relationship isn't right for us all. In some cases, passion can fizzle, and if there isn't emotional compatibility and understanding, the relationship could unravel. So tell me, when it comes to relationship chemistry, what's more important to you?

Photo copyright 2010 ABC, Inc.

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loveydovey4 loveydovey4 7 years
I facilitate a group about healthy and unhealthy relationships and the curriculum says that without a doubt you can't have a healthy relationship without a strong emotional connection but it also acknowledges that a physical connection is important but it in no way should be a part of the foundation of a healthy relationship. It says that sex shouldn't happen until a couple knows one another very, very well or else you risk getting too swept up and missing warning signs of a dangerous or incompatible partner. I have learned this lesson the hard way myself so my vote is absolutely that an emotional connection is more important but you need both for a healthy relationship.
L0neLyHeArT L0neLyHeArT 7 years
Emotional chemistry is more important. If physical chemistry is important, then how come there are unattractive people that are in relationships??
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
I think we can all agree that some aspect of the physical is the initial bonder before an intimate and or romantic coupling and emotional attraction is something that is cultivated over time. If you're feeling strong emotions from the get go over the physical that is something that would make me run in the other direction because you don't know me. IMO to say one is more important over the other is misleading because they seem to require each other and orchestrate together. I also believe that once you reach genuine emotional attraction with a partner your perception of what is attractive is broadened.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
I was in a relationship with this great guy once- we dated for a while before we slept together and we had a real emotional connection. Then we had sex- and it was horrible. It's hard to maintain an emotional connection with someone if they don't care enough to TRY to fuck you well. I've had physical relationships as well, and physical is great for the short term, but not for marriage. I never saw the bachelor, but I would be shocked if they weren't divorced within three years. I voted undecided, but you absolutely must have both. Like juicebox said, having an emotional connection with someone does make them more attractive.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
Physical first. Emotional must follow. Then the relationship will stick. :) Also, for me, the physical chemistry must remain, i.e. that person better take care of his body, and not let himself go (natural aging is fine. I'm referring to general fitness and health). When it comes to sexual arousal, I am very visual. I'm like a man. And I value my sex life, and consider it an important component in a relationship, especially a marriage.
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
If you have a stong emotional connection with someone, changes are the sex will be hot regardless!
franceslopez franceslopez 7 years
They're both really important! Physical chemistry isn't just about hot sex or a nice body, it's that special spark which is probably also related to emotional chemistry. For most if not all people, there would need to be some kind of physical attraction to begin a relationship in the first place, otherwise we'd just stay friends. But I do agree that in the long run, it's an emotional connection that keeps things going.
Talldiva45 Talldiva45 7 years
Ok - I couldn't decide definitively. There is a need for both but I def. believe in more of an emotional connection as a core determination. Things change - everyone changes physically altering the chemistry - that is to be expected. However, if you have an emotional understanding there is depth, complicated innner roots. If you truly have that kind of bond, no matter what, that will always endure.
Janine22 Janine22 7 years
First of all, I just have to say that Jake is disgusting. He had plenty of real, kind hearted real women to choose from and he picked Vienna. She was the ugliest one there in my opinion, both inside and out. It kind of made me feel like throwing up when he said in that recent interview that he could not get off of her and seeing them together. You can tell that he picked with his penis and not his heart. Anyways, you can find sexual chemistry with many people. I think that a real relationship is based on emotional intimacy and being able to depend on that person when you are at your worst. Even though you certainly need sexual chemistry to begin with. Jake is stupid for picking that girl and I am certain that it will not last.
lemamike lemamike 7 years
I would definitely have to say both. While emotional is important for long lasting relationships, I think that not having the physical chemistry can mean something is off emotionally. If you do not find your s.o/spouse sexually attractive then what separates them emotionally from just another friend or companion?
cfp cfp 7 years
I completely agree that you need both for a lasting relationship. If you don't feel any physical attraction for the person you're with, it is in essence, a friendship. I feel that way about my current boyfriend. He's basically just a friend because I never felt that initial spark of attraction, even if "emotionally" we have great chemistry.
juicebox07 juicebox07 7 years
Emotional. I would also like to say that sometimes having an intense emotional connection with someone can make them appear more physically attractive too. Before my boyfriend of 3 years started dating, I didn't find him attractive at all. Then I fell in love, and now I find him sexy.
dulcedolci dulcedolci 7 years
Both are very important. Odds are if you have emotional chemistry, you will have physical too and vice versa. If you have more than one or the other the relationship will be off balance, and most likely won't last.
socalbeachgal socalbeachgal 7 years
Both but emotional will win out over time.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
Emotional is far more sustainable. Look at Roger Ebert and his wife, Chaz. See every other celebrity couple for the less sustainable physical connections.
janneth janneth 7 years
Physical starts the ball rolling. Emotional comes later. Both are essential for long term.
bryseana bryseana 7 years
Both, of course.
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
Emotional chemistry. Let's be honest, if you tried hard enough you can get hot sex anywhere and fulfill that occasional urge but it takes a special person to make you want to hang on to a relationship.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
Both are very important.
cherrypop cherrypop 7 years
I picked undecided because I think both are equally important. Physical attraction happens at the beginning but it's also the emotional attraction that pushes the relationship. Without either, I doubt the relationship would last long. @mix tape: your icon (avatar/profile pic/whatever it's called) FTW!
totygoliguez totygoliguez 7 years
Both are important. Sex is an important par of a relationship, but if I had to pick, I will pick emotional.
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
I voted physical because at first you have to feel an attraction or else it'd just end in a friendship, duh. We all have emotional connections with friends, but as time wears on there has to be an emotional connection with the lover who you first felt a spark with. If there wasn't even an inkling of physical attraction in the beginning I highly doubt you'd be with your partner now.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
Both. You could say one's better than the other but if you need both that doesn't really matter.
flowergirl flowergirl 7 years
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