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President Obama to Send Personned Mission to Mars

Due to the recent positive identification of Martian water and the discovery of a labyrinth of subsurface tunnels, President Obama has announced support of a personned mission to the Red Planet. Stating that these tunnel cities could only be the work of hyper-intelligent creatures, Obama plans to dedicate $55 billion toward astronaut training with the goal of a flight and landing before the end of his second term.

Defending the expenditure as "a stimulus that will provide jobs in the aeronautics and astrophysics sector," Obama feels it will give a boost to the overall economy, recalling such 20th century innovations as Tang powder breakfast drinks.

The president also promised to share in the grueling, daily, five-hour physical workout routines of the astronaut candidates in place of his basketball workouts, for which he has been criticized (unfairly, in his opinion) for showing presidential preference to that sport.

To see video of the president discussing the plan at the G20 conference,

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APRIL FOOLS!!!!!! We won't be landing a man or woman on Mars anytime soon!

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Join The Conversation
flutterpie flutterpie 8 years
you got me but only because my boyfriend works at the kennedy space center and the space program pretty much employs half my town and the other half wouldnt have jobs if it werent for the space program...so ya citizen thanx for messing with my my head.
momma-tikita momma-tikita 8 years
Well you got me :)
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
Pretty obvious. At least the other sugars came up with something plausible. :oy:
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 8 years
How do we know these tunnels are designed cities and not just tunnels? If they are identified cities then this should be the biggest news to ever reach man kind but my TV is still showing regular programing so I guess not. As for the personned mission to Mars it's no surprise we knew it would happen sooner or later. Kinda makes me wish I was born in 2070 instead of 1970 but the way we're tearing things up now I'm probably lucky to get my chance to live while I did. Anyhoo GO NASA!!
lilkimbo lilkimbo 8 years
These April Fool's jokes are a little...obvious. (But still fun! I love corny/hokey jokes.)
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