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Pull the Plug

Dear Sugar
I've been dating this guy for about three months now. We've moved pretty quickly but are both fine with the swiftness of things. He comes from a past of cheating psycho exes and tends to be a little overbearing but sets double standards. While I understand his rationale for being clingy and over protective, I don't feel it is fair not to practice what you preach.

My boyfriend's MySpace page is a catalyst for many arguments because he seems to conveniently only have girls on there. They constantly try to make plans and start up conversations and it obviously makes me extremely uncomfortable.

We've talked about this many times and it usually ends with him telling me that I'm the only one for him and that fighting over his MySpace banter is petty. Am I justified feeling disrespected by my boyfriend's blatant flirting with other women on his MySpace page? Peeved Patricia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Peeved Patricia
I think we both know the issues with your boyfriend lie deeper than his flirtatious ways on MySpace. I understand your concern, especially after only being together for three months. Since your boyfriend has experienced bad relationships in the past, reassure him that you are different and demand the respect you deserve.

If your boyfriend thinks fighting over his Internet use is petty, he shouldn't have a problem ending it if it means something to you. If he can't let go of his ties with other women, you should see that as a big red flag. If your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong, take a good listen and think about reevaluating this relationship.

Join The Conversation
Brittany14706805 Brittany14706805 10 years
i agree if he thinks its so petty then why would it be so hard to simply get rid of it. My bf has myspace and he only keeps his few close friends on there. The only females on it are in his family. How would he like it if you had a myspace and had nothing but guys on it talking to them all the time? You should ask him how he would feel about that. And if the answer is he wouldnt then you need to tell him thats how u feel about his talking to all girls.
MandiMark1 MandiMark1 10 years
It's not petty to be fighting about MySpace. It's still him talking to other girls, and that would make anyone jealous. Sort of like what Dearsugar said; ask him to get rid of it, and when he says "why are you making a big deal out of nothing", reply, "if it's nothing then it shouldn't be hard to get rid of it." Obviously he's not using Myspace to keep in touch with childhood friends... he might just get a thrill out of having all the attention. Good luck!
getstinko getstinko 10 years
He needs to back away from the MySpace site. Reminds me of some lyrics from a Frank Sinatra song "Maybe you're accusing me of - what you're doing yourself" A lot of times guys get totally wacky about tracking your activities, when they are crossing the cheating line
angelia angelia 10 years
Sounds like he's still playing the field. Maybe he's not ready for a real relationship. Could he be with you because he's just accustomed to intimacy? The sum total of our actions move us toward our goals - even if we aren't being honest with ourselves about what those goals really are.
Marci Marci 10 years
I agree with Dear Sugar, too. My boyfriend was on when I met him (although that's not how we met). Once things between us started really clicking, he took his profile down. I never mentioned it or anything. He just did it because he didn't want there to be any secrets or questions.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
DearSugar, perfect advice!
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