So you're disregarding T-Swift's breakup anthem, huh? Your relationship ended but now your ex wants you back. Or maybe you're missing your former love enough to give it another try. Either way, pause for a second. Relationships are a messy business to begin with, and adding your ex back into the mix can end up complicating things further. Before you jump into things again, sit back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself these questions:
1. Why did we break up in the first place?
When you're blinded by love, the past can seem hazy and the future might appear magical. It may hurt, but you need to remind yourself of the reason(s) you separated originally. Once you're able to clearly see where your relationship fell apart, you can determine whether it's salvageable now.
2. Why do I want to get back together?
Are you looking for a temporary fix or are you truly ready to get back into the game? Reuniting with an ex means you're going to have to be willing to put in a lot more work. You'll have to recommit yourself to not just the easy parts of love, but the nitty-gritty of your coupling too. If the effort isn't worth the reward, consider putting this lovefest to rest.
3. Has enough time passed?
If your (or their) wounds are still fresh, then you may want to rethink your eagerness to get things started with your ex again. Try being alone. Let go of contact for a while. Time and space are both essential when trying to heal what's been broken between you.
4. Can our problems really be resolved?
Okay, now it's honesty hour. Only you know where the line is in your relationship, and what you're willing to compromise on. How severe are these issues to you? You both won't want to have the same fight over and over again. Make sure your problems have been dealt with, even though ignoring them can be the much more tempting option.
5. What do our family and BFFs think of our relationship refresh?
Obviously you should never make your decisions solely based off of what other people think, but the ones closest to you may have some insight to share. Your friends and family have an outside look to your love life, and can let you know when you might be in over your head.
6. How have I changed since the break up?
Ch-ch-changes! Hopefully your time apart has not only led to healing, but to some growth as well. You're not going to want to be the exact same people as before, since that didn't exactly work out originally. Focus on who you are with and without your ex, and how rekindling your relationship will affect that.