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Relationship Protocol: After a Fight, Who Apologizes First?

I've definitely been in a few relationships where it felt like I was always the one apologizing after an argument — even when I knew it wasn't actually me who was in the wrong. Let's face it: Some people just can't say, "I'm sorry" first, regardless of the circumstance. So how is it in your relationship? After a fight, who typically apologizes first?


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ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
it really depends on the fight to be honest. sometimes i do and sometimes he does (and in the fear of being stereotypical - he's usually the one in the wrong so he says it first)
le-romantique le-romantique 8 years
if i apologize and im not wrong that would make me think im scared with the security of my relationship... the man im with now, itll be a year next week, and i have never really fought- but in our arguments- whoever was wrong always apologizes.
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
We're both stubborn but I'm freaking horrible. He apologizes even when it's my fault. :(
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
I apologize all the time...even when it's not my fault...even not during a fight, just because she wants to be pissy over a little thing. Guys it's never the chicks fault :(.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
99% of the time my fiance beats me to the punch and apologizes first. He says he absolutely *hates* seeing/making me upset. He's so sweet, lol. So usually he'll apologize first, and then I'll follow suit.
khadeekiinsz khadeekiinsz 8 years
We argue, then we both apologize. We hate when we get mad at each other.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
With my husband and I it's whomever is wrong is the one that does the apologizing.
Hex Hex 8 years
He is less likely to apologize but not incapable of it. Sometimes he doesn't even know he needs to! After a spat if I'm still pouting he looks at me with the oO face and I'll explain why I'm still bent. Nine times out of ten we end up laughing about it.
missangelique999 missangelique999 8 years
I almost always apologize first, because he's extremely stubborn. He is also a person who feels that arguments are illogical. It's kind of refreshing, but honestly, I disagree. I feel like arguments are bound to happen and they're part of any healthy relationship, people just need to come to an agreement in a functional, civilized way, or agree to disagree without throwing pots and pans or resorting to violence, etc. :-)
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
It's been nine months and we haven't had a fight. He finds arguing illogical and I agree!! We discuss everything logically and make sure we are both happy before proceeding on anything.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
Oh yeah, if I'm wrong I apologize quite effectively. :)
Mamis03 Mamis03 8 years
If I did something wrong, then I apologize first. If he messed up, then I can forget I will get an apology. We usually talk about what he did and how it upset me or why I don't agree. If he knows it was wrong he stays quiet and listens to me go off and then he talks about something else...but never an apology.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
Depends on who was wrong. If he can't apologize for being wrong...he's not going to be around very long because he's not a 'best' friend to me, and would be a horrible father. Parents of young children especially screw up all the time and have to apologize. What's he going to do? blame it on a kid? Stubbornness creates a lot of drama in a family.
CYL CYL 8 years
Depends on who is 'in the wrong' I guess...but we are both pretty quick to apologize if we hurt the other person.
Marci Marci 8 years
Protocol for saying I'm sorry? News to me. If I'm wrong I say I'm sorry. If he's wrong, he says he's sorry. The whole point is to build and grown the relationship and work on the differences, right? Pride isn't going to make that happen, so while saying the actual 'I'm sorry' when wrong isn't critical, the discussion about what transpired definitely is; at least in my relationship.
MandeeLei MandeeLei 8 years
I overdo it with the sorries and I'm fully aware I need to be stopped haha. I feel the need to say sorry almost too much. He on the other hand thinks saying "I love you" after a fight means "I'm sorry." I have tried explaining that it isn't that I don't want to hear he loves me, I just want the acknowledgment of the wrong doing. He is definitely making progress.
bikinib7 bikinib7 8 years
I'm so stubborn. I would apologize, but I never think I'm wrong.... I really want to work on it for my resolution. I think unconsciously I see it as being weak and giving in... which i know is ridiculous..
BeataB74 BeataB74 8 years
More often than not, it's all about silly, stubborn pride. It's tough to get past it, but fixing the relationship is more important to me than my pride.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
It depends on the situation. My BF and I don't like to fight, even though we do. I sometimes say it first and he says it first sometimes. Yesterday he said sorry first. Of course there are the times when I try to make him apologize...and he gets all snarky =P
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
We are both stubborn bastards. Early in our relationship we would each try to wait each other out. I don't know what changed but now we apologize to each other pretty much right away and we take turns making peace.
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